All That Matters
by HGRache
Summary: All they knew was that they had found something in each other, something neither of them had ever been given before...Rachel/Puck
1. Chapter 1

Hi guys! This is my first Glee fanfic, I'm new to the show, I literally watched Season 1 two days ago, so we'll see how firm my grasp of the characters is. Also, I hope I didn't offend anyone, but I live in Ohio, so I know a few things about the weather and Amish and Ohio's place in the progressive scale. Read and enjoy, and don't forget to review!

Rachel Berry smiled to herself as she walked down the crowded hallway humming show tunes from Cabaret. Winter had finally given way to spring in Ohio, and she couldn't be happier to put away her long skirts for the winter in favor of her shorter ones. They went better with her sweaters anyway, made her look less Amish. I mean, she lived in Ohio, but come on.

She stopped at her locker to put away her books and cringed only slightly when a hand holding a slushie cup appeared. Glancing up, she saw she needn't be worried.

"Berry," the dark haired boy said, holding the cup out to her.

"Puck," she said, taking it from him.

They may have broken up months ago, after a modestly short relationship, no less, but Puck hadn't thrown a slushie in her face since then. And he even kept up his tradition of bringing one to her locker once a week, always grape, always tasty. Funny how differently things tasted when drank from a cup and not licked off your face, along with your tears of humiliation.

He gave her his trademark smirk, that oh-so-sexy one, and continued his journey down the hall. She ducked her head, smiling to herself, trying to contain that feeling she always got when he smirked at her like that.

She doubted the rest of the Glee kids knew about their tradition, as no one had said anything and no one in the club was particularly skilled at keeping secrets. They all had other things going on in their lives, they probably hadn't even noticed the difference between her and Puck now. How he was nicer to her now, considerate, even. How she had mellowed due to his influence.

They all had so much going on, Quinn and Finn with the baby, Kurt searching for the quintessentially perfect outfit, Mercedes doing…whatever it was Mercedes did outside of Glee. Rachel was positive they hadn't seen the changes between her and Puck.

She doubted the Glee kids knew they talked outside of school. Pretty frequently. It had started on New Year's Eve, when Puck had gotten drunk and called her, complaining about how anal she was, uptight, stuck up, controlling…Yes, she remembered it well…

"_Hello?" She was sleeping when the phone rang, but it was late enough to know that whoever was calling wasn't just doing it for fun, and she instantly worried about her fathers, across town at a holiday party._

"_You're insane, you know that? Completely insane."_

"…_Puck?"_

"_Yeah. You are so freakin' controlling it makes everybody nuts, you know that?"_

"_Um, yeah, it's not exactly a newsflash that no one likes me. Why are you calling?"_

"_You just need to lighten up a little! I mean, come on!"_

_Rachel looked at the clock. 2:30. "So you called me this late to tell me that everyone hates me?"_

"_Yes! No! I don't know." He was quiet then and Rachel knew him well enough, whether he liked it or not, to know something else was going on._

"_Ok. So everyone hates me. Again, not something new…so what's up with you?" She tried to keep her voice light, casual, knowing he wouldn't talk if he felt she was smothering him or making it a big deal._

"_Nothing."_

"_Oh…ok…well, if you're done, I'm gonna go back to bed."_

"_Wait!"_

"_Yes?" She waited with bated breath, hoping he would talk to her._

"_Well…you've got two dads, right, so that kind of makes you an expert on them, right?"_

_She laughed. "Well, neither of my dads is really a typical one, so not really."_

"_Oh." She waited but he was silent again._

"_Puck…what's going on?"_

_He sighed in frustration and she could tell he was warring with himself about opening up. Finally he did. "My dad called tonight. Wants to see me."_

_Rachel wasn't quite sure what to say. He hadn't said much about his dad in the time they were together, practically nothing, except that his father was an alcoholic and was constantly in and out of his life, mostly only coming back for his mother, not his son. She knew that was the reason Puck had gotten into football, trying to gain his father's approval, but he'd never said as much, just made a casual allusion to how much his old man loved the sport and had played when he was Puck's age. _

"_Are you going to go?_

_He hesitated. "I, uh…I don't know. This is kind of a first for him."_

"_What do you mean?"_

_Puck laughed bitterly. "Well, usually he just comes back for my mom, you know? Doesn't really give a damn about me, and definitely not about my sister. This is the first time he's even seemed to care."_

"_Did he say why?"_

"_Said he's sober now, going to meetings or some crap, said he's made a lot of mistakes and wants to fix them. I don't know."_

"_Everybody makes mistakes, Puck," she said softly._

_He was quiet again and finally said, "Look, I gotta go. Sorry for waking you up." _

_She started to respond but was met with only a dial tone._

Rachel chuckled at the memory. Yes, that was definitely the beginning of the end for her and Puck, even if it took him awhile to accept it.

_He was standing at her locker the next morning, arms crossed, looking menacing. She smiled at him but he didn't return it._

"_I was really drunk last night and I will deny any of that ever happened and spend my entire savings on cherry slushies if you tell anyone."_

"_Why would I tell anyone? You shared some extremely personal things with me last night."_

"_No, I didn't! And you better just keep your damn mouth shut!" He stalked off as she watched, confused at the exchange._

_Glee practice was a tense event that day, with him glaring at her and watching everyone around him, trying to see if she'd told anyone._

_She approached him after practice, even though he tried to flee. She had to nearly sprint to catch up with him, he was walking so fast and his legs were much longer than hers._

"_I know what you're doing and it won't work," she panted._

"_I don't know what you're talking about. Get lost, Berry._

"_You can push me away all you want, but you can't stop people from being nice to you. It's going to happen eventually." _

_He stopped abruptly and turned around. "Is that what you're doing? Being nice to me? Well, I don't want it. I mean it, get lost."_

_She was left standing there as he made it to his truck and drove off._

That was really the end of her interaction with Puck, at least for awhile.

_She hummed a Grease song as she let herself into the house after Glee practice. The house was quiet, but as she sifted through the mail she remember her dads had gone to Toronto for a few days to see Phantom of the Opera, one of her favorite-Oh! There it was! A letter from Julliard, hopefully her acceptance to their prestigious summer music program, which could only cement her place in their program after high school and shoot her off towards Broadway!_

_She tore the envelope open excitedly, hands shaking with anticipation as she unfolded the piece of paper. This was it, her big break, the next step in her dream and-what? Rejected? How could that be? Her eyes scanned the words desperately, hoping she had read it wrong. Wide field of competition…very talented…unfortunately not enough slots…there's always next year's program… The words blurred together after that, the tears making them impossible to read. She was a failure. Everything she had done, her entire life, it meant nothing. If she couldn't even get into Julliard's summer program, her chances of going there for college were shot._

_She didn't even realize she had the phone in her hand or that she had even dialed it until she heard his voice. She wasn't sure how much he even understood, because she was crying so much that speaking had become difficult. All she knew was that when he hung up on her she cried harder._

_She was still crying when he showed up ten minutes later, not even bothering to knock, just walked right through the front door. He was holding a pilfered bottle of wine from his mother and her favorite chick flick, also from his mother. He looked so cute standing there trying not to look like he cared that she kept crying._

"_Rachel."_

_She looked up at him, still crying._

"_Hey, what's wrong? I could barely understand you on the phone, all I got was 'Julliard' and 'rejected'."_

_She cried harder at the word rejected and he was at a complete loss what to do. He hated it when girls cried. Had seen his mom cry more times that he should have, which was one of the reasons he hated his dad so much. But Rachel was crying harder now, making little noises when she tried to breathe. He figured crying that much wasn't healthy, but Rachel cried with the same passion she did everything else._

_He hesitantly put his arm around her, not sure if that would be helpful or make her cry more. She leaned into him instantly, turning her face into his neck. He could feel her tears against his skin and it kind of tickled a little but he didn't move. He didn't do anything except hold Rachel Berry in her tastefully decorated kitchen while she cried._

_She stopped crying eventually, he kind of figured she had to, a person that small shouldn't have that many tears. She avoided looking at him, like she was embarrassed or something, and asked what he had brought._

_Which was how they ended up in her living room, sharing a couch and a bottle of wine, giggling hysterically over his mom's favorite movie. He hadn't said anything more about her phone call and she seemed grateful for that. It wasn't until she went to the kitchen for more wine that it came up again. _

_She came back in the living room with the rest of the wine and a piece of paper in her hand. She sat down quietly beside him and sipped from her glass as she handed him the paper. He read the letter and felt a slow anger course through him. Who were these people to tell her she was rejected? Who were these people to make her cry like that?_

_He handed the letter back to her and watched as she delicately set it on the coffee table in front of them, as gently as if it had been her acceptance._

"_It's just the summer program," he said suddenly, startling them both. "I mean, it's not like they rejected you forever. You'll apply again and you'll get in."_

"_No, I don't think so," she said slowly. "Do you know what I'm supposed to be, Puck? I'm supposed to stand out. I always have. I have to. Stand out among the rest of the world and be noticed. That's why I endured the slushie facials all these years. Because, as much as they suck, and they really do, even they were a testament to the fact that I stand out. No one would bother with someone who is invisible, you know? So I took it. Because that just fortified my belief that I was meant to be a star and stand out. But Julliard doesn't think I do. They don't think I stand out and they don't think I'm a star."_

"_You read the letter, they had a record number of applicants this year."_

"_That still doesn't excuse the fact that I didn't stand out! No matter how many people there are, I should still be seen, heard, known! But I'm no different than any other kid they rejected this year, I'm the same as all of them."_

"_So you're the same as everyone else. Is that so bad?"_

_She looked him dead in the eye. "Yes. It is. This is all I've ever had. This is it. I have no friends, no social life, no boyfriend. My entire life has been about being a star and you have to stand out and make someone see you before that happens. And I failed. I have nothing now."_

"_Come on, that's not true. What about Glee Club?"_

"_Glee Club was supposed to be an outlet for me to be heard, a means to further my career end. Which obviously it has not."_

_He didn't like what he was hearing. "It's just one summer program. There are other summer programs and other schools."_

_She fiddled with the hem of her shirt. "Yeah. I guess so."_

"_Rachel." He waited until she looked at him. "You'll be fine. You are not going to end up a Lima Loser." _

_She gave him a half smile, a pathetic excuse for her usual one. "Yeah," she said again. _

_They sat in silence for a few minutes, the movie playing in the background, before she spoke again. "I'm sorry I called you. I didn't mean to."_

"_It's fine. It's not like I haven't called you."_

_She turned to him, her smile a little more natural this time, and he found his breath caught in his chest at the sight of it. "I thought we weren't going to talk about it." _

_He gave her a look. "We're not."_

_She giggled. "Ok." _

He had gone home shortly afterwards, she remembered, but not before covering her with a blanket from the back of the couch as she lay half passed out from the wine.

She giggled. She doubted anyone knew her first time getting drunk was with Puck. And she doubted that anyone would believe he didn't try to take advantage of her inebriated state. But he was rather sweet about the whole thing, and maybe that's when it really started.

They began talking almost regularly, outside of school, that is. They seemed to have an unspoken agreement that things at school and Glee would stay the way they were. They both had things they kept hidden away from the group, and neither wanted the outside to intrude on the growing bond they had, odd though it may be.

He learned she hated chocolate. Said it clogged things up, messed with the vocal chords, but he always suspected it was more. Turns out she actually hated Valentine's Day, which he didn't find out until she started ranting about it when they were hanging out one night. He suspected there was more to that too, but she hadn't gotten around to letting that out yet.

She learned he loved popcorn, with extra butter and lots of salt. She tried telling him salt wasn't good for him and it really wasn't good for his voice, but he wouldn't listen. Turns out it reminded him of simpler times, when his mom would hire a babysitter and take him to the movies for his birthday every year. Before she had to watch her spending so much and before it became uncool for a guy to hang out in public with his mother.

He learned that no matter how much she loved her dads (and she really did) and how progressive she was, she still had a hard time with it. I mean, it was Ohio, not exactly the progressive state. He learned that she kept her torment at school from her fathers, in case they got upset and think it was because of them. She yearned not to hurt or disappoint them. And she would never, ever tell them that sometimes she wanted a mother, a real womanly presence in her life, so badly that it hurt sometimes.

She learned that he was so close to his mom, he borderlined on being a mama's boy. The look on his face when she told him that was priceless. She had giggled but found it completely heartwarming how deeply he cared for and respected his mother.

He learned that no matter how well-adjusted and confident she seemed, she was secretly an insecure mess. Her words, not his. She questioned everything about herself and every cruel word tossed in her direction stirred up all her insecurities. He figured that explained her overbearing personality pretty well and exposed it for the façade that it was.

They spent so much time learning about each other and seeing new sides that they never really noticed when the change occurred. Didn't notice how Puck had become one of the group, that seeing Rachel through new eyes unconsciously made him see everyone in the group that way. They didn't notice how Rachel had toned the intensity of her personality way down, an unconscious reaction to finally finding acceptance from someone, even after they saw who she really was.

All they knew was that they had found something in each other, something neither of them had ever been given before. And really, that was all that mattered.


	2. Chapter 2

Well, I really wasn't planning on taking this fic any further than the last section, but I guess you never know! Enjoy!

Rachel wasn't sure what to make of the list Puck thrust into her hand with the grape slushie one Monday morning in early April. She glanced at him and then back to the list when he gave her no explanation. Scanning the list she realized it was a list of schools, complete with web sites and contact information for admissions representatives. She looked up at him, not quite sure what to think.

"They're schools," he said needlessly. He waited for her to say something, but she didn't. "They have summer music programs, they're supposed to be pretty good. And they all have rolling admissions deadlines, so you can still get in."

She wasn't sure she could speak without crying, but he kept talking.

"Look, you were so upset about Julliard last week that I just thought…I don't know, it's stupid. But you are not a Lima Loser, Rach. Not even close. Out of this entire school, if one person was going to make it somewhere, it would be you."

She didn't think it was possible, but her eyes welled up even more. She reached out with her free hand and clasped his arm. "Puck…I think that's probably the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me."

"Eh, it wasn't for you. Just don't like seeing girls cry, is all. Plus I got some really good information on some of the programs, thinking about maybe looking into one myself." He grinned and gave her a little wink. "After all, why deprive the rest of the world of my badassness?"

She laughed as he walked off to class. No matter what he said, she knew who he was, what he was underneath. And it was not what he showed the rest of the world, not at all.

Rachel was wrong about the other kids. They had noticed the difference between her and Puck. They had noticed the looks the two shared during practice when they thought no one was looking. They noticed how Puck had moved from sitting in the back corner away from everyone else to occasionally sitting near Rachel. They noticed that Rachel stopped insisting she be the lead in every number, and they were shocked when she actually suggested Tina for the lead in a powerful show number that had Rachel Berry written all over it.

When they started watching more they noticed the weekly slushies Puck brought Rachel, the time he would spend just chatting with her by her locker, the way they tuned everyone else out when they were together. They noticed that Rachel had taken to doing her homework in the bleachers by the football field on the days they didn't have Glee practice. The way Puck would walk her to her car afterwards, which was conveniently parked right beside his.

They noticed the exchange of CDs between the two, an occurrence that happened so often they all wondered how long it had been going on and how in the world they hadn't noticed sooner.

Artie had actually witnessed Puck giving her a 50 Cent CD, making her promise to give it a try. And a few days later Tina had overheard her at her locker telling Puck she actually liked it and one of the songs would be a good ensemble dance number for the team. Quinn noticed several days after that Rachel giving Puck a Celine Dion CD, laughing when he rolled his eyes and tried to hand it back. And Mercedes told the group the next day Puck admitted to being touched by some of the lyrics, the feelings that were often difficult to put into words.

And so the Glee Club met in secret before practice one day, trying to figure out exactly what Twilight Zone they were in and who exactly had abducted their friends.

Puck knew the moment he and Rachel were caught. Well, caught not being the right word, as they really hadn't done anything wrong or weird and-damn, she even had him talking like her now. He was gonna have to talk to her about that soon. But he knew as soon as the club noticed things had changed. Every time he turned around someone from Glee was there, following him from class to class, practice to practice. And being the intelligent group that they were, they hadn't even chosen the football players to follow him, it was mostly Kurt, Mercedes and Tina, and of course they stuck out like a bunch of sore thumbs.

He broached the topic with Rachel alone one night. They were hanging out at the old playground, sitting on the swings, enjoying the decently warm evening.

"Have we really become that different?" she asked him. "Were we really so hateful to each other before?"

"Eh, I don't know if it was necessarily hateful, but you have to admit, you never would have suggested Tina sing a song that was just made for your voice. Not before."

"Yeah, but before what?" Rachel asked. "I'm not sure what changed. I mean, nothing did, really."

"That's not really true and you know it. We used to hate each other. Or at least act like we did. I don't know. Things just seem different now."

They were quiet for a moment until Rachel spoke up again. "What do you think they know?"

Puck chuckled. "Not much. Kurt's not exactly a super spy."

Rachel giggled. "Yeah, Brittany's about as subtle as an explosion sometimes."

"It's not like we're hiding anything."

"Of course not," she scoffed. "We're friends. I just think that maybe they wouldn't understand that. Not everybody sees the sides of you that I do, and I really don't feel like dealing with more judgment from anyone."

"Agreed," Puck said. More silence followed. "So did you check out those schools I gave you?"

"I did, actually. I was leaning more towards Ivy West, they're not as prestigious as Julliard or anything, but I was very impressed by their web site and their admissions counselor when I called to make an appointment for a tour."

Puck grinned at her. "See, there's the Rachel Berry everyone knows, all ahead of the game."

She responded by sticking her tongue out at him. "What about you, anything more from your dad?"

He shook his head. "Not since we went to lunch with him last week. I figured he'd at least call or something, but nope. Shoulda figured."

"Noah," she said softly. "It's ok to want him to be different. To expect him to be and to be upset because he isn't. You gave him a chance, that's the important thing. Whatever happens now is become of him and his choices, not because of you and yours."

He smiled at her then, a smile that few people had ever seen on his face. "Thanks again for going with me. It meant…it was easier with you there."

"I'm glad you let me. I wasn't sure how you were going to react when I offered, but I just wanted you to know I was there, you know?"

He grinned at her again, the familiar arrogant look back on his face. "You know, you're probably the only one other than my mom that I let get away with calling me Noah."

She grinned at him. "I'm just good like that."

He grinned at her and winked. "Yes you are, Berry. Yes you are."

The month of May passed relatively quickly for the McKinley High students. The Glee Club continued to follow Puck and Rachel around but neither minded it. They continued their routines, exchanging Slushies and CDs, even going so far as to perform a duet in Glee practice one day. Mr. Schuester was surprised, to say the least, but even he had noticed the difference in the two, especially since Rachel hadn't had any storm outs during practice in months.

Their duet was passionate, soulful, and it was clear that they had put a lot of time into it outside of practice. Their eyes never left each other during the song, and their friends made a show of nudging and whispering each other, tossing out theories on what it all meant.

Finn was finally the one who told them they should probably all back off. He had known Puck the longest, they had been best friends for years, and despite the appearance Puck put on for the public, Finn had seen glimpses of him through the years, glimpses of the things he knew Rachel must now be seeing. Puck wasn't a bad guy and if he and Rachel were still on good terms after all these months of spending time together, then he figured it wasn't something to worry about.

Mr. Schue was so pleased with the progression Puck's voice had made and the way he and Rachel sounded together that he promised he would find a duet for them that might be a contender for competition next year. He had glanced at Finn when he said this, but Finn wasn't upset. He knew good music when he heard it and he definitely just had.

Puck sat on Rachel's bad, strumming his guitar idly as he watched her pack. The Ivy West summer music program started in the middle of July and she was leaving tomorrow morning

Four weeks. That's how long she would be gone. Four weeks. That was almost half the summer. He was happy for her, he really was. He had seen how hard she had taken the Julliard rejection, how it had brought out all her insecurities about never being good enough. She had smiled radiantly when she showed him her acceptance letter to Ivy West, throwing her arms around him and thanking him profusely for his help. She needed to smile like that more often, she absolutely glowed when she did.

Still, happy as he was for her, he was going to miss her. Like their routine during school, they had developed a similar one during the summer. He still cleaned pools and hot tubs, but now more often than not one of them would call or text the other and she would end up there with him, helping or singing or trying to play his guitar as he worked. He didn't notice the women standing in their doorways watching him longingly, dressed in short bathrobes or towels, drinks in their hands, despite the fact that he usually made his appointments in the morning. The only thing he saw was Rachel, the only thing he heard was her. He knew how she looked when she got frustrated with her guitar playing because it wasn't as perfect as everything else she did. He learned how to recognize the signs that she was about to snap and throw his guitar. Yeah, she only did that once before he recognized those signs. He learned that if he took a break then and played something for her, she would sing and relax and her confidence in herself would be back again. And the way she would sometimes kiss his check afterwards let him know that she knew what he was doing and was grateful for it.

Lunch was spent usually at her house with one of her dads, or both. They liked him for some reason, and though they never said the word, you could tell they thought they knew what he was to her.

Evenings were usually spent at his house, dinner with his mom and a movie with his sister. Or sometimes he would take her out to dinner, maybe a walk around town afterwards. They had become so accustomed to each others presence that it didn't really matter what they did, as long as they were together.

It wasn't like he abandoned his other friends, not really. But Matt and Mike were out of town for various periods during the summer months and Finn was busy with Quinn and the baby and work and he didn't really even think about them anyway. Rachel had become everything to him and he hadn't even seen it happening.

She stopped packing and looked at him, her face unreadable. It was almost like she knew what he was thinking. He smirked. Mind reading, just another thing she probably excelled at.

He set his guitar aside as she joined him on the bed. He took one of her hands in his and it felt so natural he wondered if he hadn't been doing it all his life.

"Four weeks is a long time," she said softly.

"It's not so long," he replied in the same tone.

"I'm going to miss you."

"Well, duh. My badassness and these guns? Totally missable."

She grinned as her flexed one arm for her. "Your arms are, as always, lovely."

The smirk fell off his face as she drifted closer and rested her forehead against his. "I'm sad you decided not to go this year."

"Well, I figured I'll work all summer and save the money for college. Can't have you being lonely around all those college guys, now can I, Berry?"

She smiled and closed her eyes, face still pressed against his.

"You'll knock 'em dead, Rach," he said, leaning closer. He brushed his lips lightly against hers. "Just come home soon."


	3. Chapter 3

Puck was fairly certain that July was the worst month in the entire year. It just dragged on and on and on. And then it was August and those first few weeks dragged too.

He missed her. A lot. Not that he was completely going without her. She called him every night after a busy day of all things musical and they talked until her voice slurred and he could almost see her eyelids drooping through the phone.

She was the happiest he'd ever known her to be. She was singing, dancing, shining. And he was so happy for her, he really was. She deserved the happiness that music brought her. His only regret was that he wasn't there with her, watching her shine.

She wasn't what one would call classically beautiful, not like Quinn or some of the other Cheerios. She wasn't unpleasant to look at though, that was something you could see just passing her in the hallway or sitting next to her in class. But when she sang…when she sang she was gorgeous. Beautiful and heavenly, the sound of her voice and the emotion behind it all…it was too much sometimes. Her voice could make you feel all kinds of things, and when she sang and her eyes sparkled and her voice lifted, he just felt…warm.

So when she would call and tell him what song she had sung that day or what note she was working on or what dance step she had mastered flawlessly, he wished more than anything that he could be there to see her. He almost asked her if any of the instructors taped their practices, but he stopped himself before he sounded like a wuss. He'd seen her sing a thousand times and when she got back he'd see her sing a thousand more.

A few days ago she had asked him how Quinn and Finn were doing and he was almost ashamed to tell her he didn't know. Finn was so busy at his summer job during the days and was so exhausted at night that even if Puck would pry himself away from his phone in the evenings they still wouldn't be hanging out much. And Quinn, well, he felt bad about that, he really did. He had gone to see her yesterday and the girl was just as stubborn as ever, refusing to take his money.

_She was sitting on her front porch, glass of lemonade sweating in her hand. Her hair was pulled up messy and she was in a dress that was probably supposed to keep her cool in the heat, although it looked to be failing._

"_Hey," he called out, coming up the driveway._

"_Hey," she said, surprised, when she saw him._

"_How, uh, how are you feeling?"_

_She glared at him. "Hot. Sticky. Fat. Pick one."_

_He chuckled and sat down next to her on the swing. He pulled a roll of cash out of his pocket. "Here," he said, thrusting it at her._

_She stared at it blankly. "What is that?"_

"_Money. You know, for the baby."_

"_Puck, I don't want your money."_

_He sighed. "Yeah, I know, you don't want my money, you don't want this to be my baby, you don't want me anywhere near this whole thing."_

_She watched him for a long moment before responding. "No, I don't want your money, Puck. I'm not taking it."_

"_It's not fair!" he yelled. "Why will you take Finn's money and not mine? And how is it fair for him to work himself to death all summer for a kid that's not even his?"_

"_I'm not taking his money either," Quinn said quietly. _

_Puck turned to look at her but she wouldn't meet his gaze. "What?"_

"_I'm not taking his money. I mean, I am, but I'm not spending it."_

"_Then what are you doing with it?"_

"_Hanging onto it. I found a woman, Puck. A family. They want this baby, badly. They're such a nice family, pretty much perfect and I want them to adopt our little girl."_

_He sat, stunned, unable to speak. When he could form words, he sounded like Tina. "W-w-what do you m-mean you want them adopt h-her?"_

"_I haven't signed any papers yet, but I've met with them a few times, stayed over at their house once. They're just so nice. They aren't able to have children of their own, and they're only five or six years older than us. This could change their lives, Puck. In the best way possible."_

"_Have you told Finn?"_

_Quinn looked away again. "No. Not yet. That's why I keep taking his money. The Jamesons, that's the family, they insisted on paying all my expenses, clothes, hospital bills, everything, even though I haven't signed anything yet and could legally change my mind at any time. But they insisted. That's just how they are."_

_Puck blinked. "Were you ever going to tell me? Are you ever going to tell Finn?"_

"_Of course I am," Quinn said. "I would never sign anything like that before talking to you first, and of course Finn will have to know too. I know I haven't exactly handled this whole situation well, but I freaked. I was so scared when I found out, scared about everything. I know I called you a Lima Loser, Puck, but I didn't mean it."_

"_Then why did you say it?"_

"_Because I was afraid I was going to end up one. I'm seventeen, Puck. I'm having a hard enough time trying to just be a good person right now, let alone a good mother. I wouldn't be. Not right now. And it's not fair to make this kid wait while I make all my mistakes on her and make her suffer for my bad choices. It's not fair." _

_She was crying now and Puck groaned again. He really hated crying females. He put his arm around her and they sat silently for awhile, her crying, him thinking._

"_You'll be a good dad, you know," she told him. "Someday."_

"_You'd be a good mom," he said. _

_She sniffled again. "I'm going to tell Finn. Soon. He deserves to know and you deserve to be a part of this. Like when she's born. If you want to, I mean."_

"_I want to," he said gruffly. _

"_And maybe you could meet the Jamesons. Sometime," she said._

"_Maybe," he conceded._

_They sat quietly on the swing until he spoke again. "So what are you going to do with Finn's money?"_

"_Hang onto it until I talk to him and then give it back. I figure he can use it for college or something. And that's what you should do with yours. Head off to some fancy music college with Rachel."_

_He started but there was no judgment in her voice now. "What are you talking about?"_

"_Come on, Puck, everyone's seen it. You guys are always together. In fact, I'm surprised you're over here alone now."_

_Puck could almost swear he felt himself turning red. "She's, uh, she's away at music school for a few weeks."_

_Quinn looked at him for a second before she started giggling. He looked at her like she was crazy, but soon they were both laughing hysterically. They settled down and back into the friendly silence._

"_It's so weird, you know," he said. _

"_That you love Rachel Berry?" she asked quietly._

"_I never said I loved her."_

"_You didn't have to."_

"_I just…I don't know when it started. We were enemies, I hated her, and I'm sure she hated me. And then…then we weren't. It's like I blinked and missed it or something."_

"_Well, what changed?"_

_Puck was silent, studying his hands. "She…she saw me. And I saw her. And as much as we both resisted at first…we stayed. For each other. For ourselves. I don't know. Now it just feels so weird to think there was a time when I _didn't_ spend every day with her, or didn't feel like I was empty without her."_

"_That's the way it was with Finn. We went from being the quarterback and the head cheerleader, just having fun and taking on our roles to actually being something. There's just something different…we're so different with each other outside of school. That's why when he kind of developed a thing for Rachel I stayed with him. She was nice to him all the time, sweet and doting all the time. I couldn't be like that in school, I had this image to maintain." She shook her head. "I don't know, high school does something to you, messes with you, I think. Because Finn and I are just so different outside of school when it's just us and there's no pressure and no roles and no judgment. It's just us."_

_Puck nodded. "I know what you mean."_

_Quinn smiled softly at him. "Take your money back. Take it and save it and go off to school with Rachel and you guys can keep each other from being held back by the Lima Losers of our class. I appreciate the money, but we don't need it. I'm going to be fine and Baby Drizzle is going to be fine. Now you need to make sure you're fine."_

Puck had walked away from that conversation with a certain understanding, yet some confusion as well. How was he supposed to take care of himself? Was it college? He had never put much thought into it, knowing his mom probably couldn't afford it anyway. He had never been an academic, never wanted to be. Never had any dreams, not really, not since his dad had pretty much burned all of his.

But now…now he found himself thinking about it. College. College with Rachel. Because if one thing was certain, it was that Rachel Berry was going to college. And he found himself wanting to be there with her. Singing when she sang. Learning what she learned. It was disconcerting (another word he was going to have to talk to her about, surely that did not find his way into his vocabulary on its own) that the kid who spent third period sleeping in the nurse's office was seriously starting to think about college.

He supposed it was better late than never. That's what his mom was always saying. He's always disagreed with her, of course, there were some things that were dependant on a certain amount of time and no matter what the reason, when that time was up, late didn't do anything for anyone. But now, this…Rachel would probably squeal when he told her. He smirked when he thought about it. She was always so…loud. Everything she did was loud and passionate and just so…Rachel.

She would be back tomorrow, and he could hardly wait. Even with the nightly phone calls it was still too long. He missed seeing her, missed the way her nose crinkled when he teased her, missed the way her brow furrowed when she was sad but trying not to be. He missed her.


	4. Chapter 4

He wanted to be the one to pick her up from the airport, but in the end her fathers had put their foot (feet?) down and said they would pick her up. Something about spending time with their baby. Puck snorted. Sounded like they were missing her as bad as he was.

She sent him a text when he plane landed, another when her dads found her and another a little later telling him her dads were insisting on taking her to a nice dinner, and she was sure it was to punish him. He could almost hear her laughing at him.

Dinner seemed to take them an exceedingly long time. When she did finally text him that they were home, he raced out of his house so fast he doubted his feet even touched the ground.

She was standing in the driveway when he got there, grinning from ear to ear. "How many traffic laws did you break to get here?"

"Shut up," he said, pulling her into a hug. He pulled back slightly, brushing his lips against hers as if it were the most natural thing in the world. He rested his forehead against hers. "Hi," he whispered.

"Hi," she whispered back.

He thinks it might be the quietest he's ever heard her and he starts chuckling.

She pulled back and glared at him. "And just what exactly is so funny?"

He grinned arrogantly and looped his arm around her shoulders. "Nothing, Berry. Just glad you're home."

"Mm hmm," she mumbled, not quite sure she believed him.

They headed up to her room and he watched as she started to unpack. "So how was your trip?"

Even though he's heard about it every day for the past four weeks he still listens as she rambles on about the new songs she's learned, the notes she's strengthened, the connections she's made. The time away from him seems to have worn on her and she is just as loud and rambunctious as ever, barely pausing to take a breath between sentences. He just reclines on her bed and lets her go to town.

As she talked about the various instructors, he took in the bright sparkle in her eye, the way her smile seemed to explode and-damn it! Quinn was right, he was in love with Rachel Berry.

Like he told Quinn, he really wasn't sure when it happened, hadn't even put a word to it until that conversation. Damn her, she sure knew how to mess up a guy's life. Because now he had to deal with it. He knew what he felt now, but he didn't know about Rachel. Sure, they were friends, they hung out all the time, but you could buy a puppy and do that too. Did she feel the same way? Did she even know he felt that way?

Then again, the two times he had kissed her, brief as they were, she hadn't really resisted and hadn't seemed all that surprised either. He thinks she may have kissed him back today, but now he's not sure. Damn Quinn, walking around, trying to make everyone as girly and all about feelings like Finn. Damn them both.

There was still that whole matter to resolve. With Finn. And Quinn. And now Rachel. Because, close as they had been the last few months, she was still Rachel Berry. Still had her own ethical rules for life. And he doubted that she was going to like any of this very much. Nope, he could pretty much guarantee this was going to get pretty messy.

He flinched when something hit the side of his head and when he reached down to pick it up, he discovered it was a sock. A knee sock. He glanced up at Rachel to find her with her hands on her hips, mock glaring at him.

"Are you even listening to me? You asked me about my trip and I was telling you. I don't just talk for my health, you know."

Puck snorted. "Berry, the day someone figures out why you talk so much will be the day Nobel Prizes are handed out."

She cocked her head to the side. "Was that an insult? I think that was an insult, but it didn't make a whole lot of sense. You should probably work on that." She ducked as the knee sock came flying at her head.

She had kicked him out shortly after that, claiming jet lag, and he was so caught up in trying to figure things out that he let her. The old Puck, he knew, would have pushed things, would have kissed her to see what she did. But the new Puck, this pathetic wussy Puck, was almost afraid to see what she would do. They were in a good place right now, comfortable and friendly, natural. He didn't want to do anything to ruin that.

At the same time, he thought, lying in his bed later that night, he knew he had to tell her about Quinn's baby. His baby. It needed to come out and she needed to know and the longer he waited the worse it was going to be. She hated secrets, he knew that, it was part of her insecurity thing, assuming that every secret being kept was about her or it was being kept from her and there could never be a good reason for any of that. Secrets were bad, she was always telling him. He didn't even know how to start that conversation. "Hey, I knocked up my best friend's girl" didn't seem like a good way to start. Maybe "Hey, you like babies right? Well, I'm having one!" Yeah, maybe not that one either.

And then there was Finn to consider. They had never really talked about it, not since that day they broke up on the bleachers, but she'd had a thing for Finn. Maybe she still did. Just because she wasn't following him around like a puppy dog anymore didn't mean she didn't want to. And if he told her about Quinn and the baby there was a pretty good chance she would tell Finn herself. That little place in Puck's chest ached when he thought about that, her choosing to support Finn over him, even after all these months. But he wouldn't blame her for it, not really. He had screwed up then and he was still screwing up by keeping his mouth shut about it every day.

He really hated that he had to sit back and let someone else take care of his kid, watch someone else walk around claiming a kid they didn't really have any claim to at all. And the part of him that was still Finn's friend, even after all of this, hated watching his best friend shoulder a responsibility that had nothing to do with him. It wasn't fair, not to any of them, even though he knew Finn was getting the short end of the stick all the way around. Crappy girlfriend, crappy best friend, and the hurt that losing a kid he thought was his would leave him with.

And Baby Drizzle-Drizzle, what a stupid name, and of course Finn would come up with it and think it was the next cool one. And even though he knew Quinn would never ever let anyone name her baby something off the wall like Drizzle, the name had stuck and the bump was referred to, even affectionately sometimes, as Drizzle.

Some serious decisions had to be made, that was for sure. He hadn't thought much about the family Quinn had found to adopt their daughter since she told him about it. His thoughts were more on Rachel, spending time with her again. It was just easier. Things with her were simple, there was no drama or complication. And he couldn't even claim Drizzle as his, it was just easier to forget about it for awhile and just exist with Rachel.

He didn't like the feelings he got when he thought about an adoption. It was different letting Finn claim his kid, at least he knew he would see her, be able to be around her. As long as Finn and Quinn raised her he knew that Quinn would try to include him when she could, even if not as the father. But if the baby was adopted…that was it. He would never see her again, not at birthdays, not just randomly dropping in under the pretense of visiting his friends. He'd never see his daughter again if Quinn gave her up.

But he knew that was unfair. It was unfair of him to expect Quinn to keep her just so he could see her sometimes. Because for Quinn it would be forever. Day in and day out with a kid, never able to get away and find the peace he found with Rachel and the escape of a simpler existence.

But even that wasn't going to last long. He was pretty sure Rachel was going to be upset about the whole thing when it came out, upset at all of them. Well, probably not Finn, just because he was ignorant and had dozed off during sex ed didn't make him the villain here. Puck knew he had changed in the last few months, and Rachel knew it too, but Puck feared some things just weren't forgivable, some things you just couldn't recover from, no matter how long ago you may have done them. Because the fact is, even though he has changed, he's still kept his mouth shut and kept up the pretense of the lie, watching his best friend stress himself and his family out over something he shouldn't even be worrying about and that hasn't changed. He may have kept his mouth shut for Quinn, because it's what she wanted, but he knew it was wrong and he did it anyway. He was definitely not looking forward to that conversation, with either Rachel or Finn.

When he talked to Quinn about it she was hesitant, but agreed that they should probably tell Finn soon. Puck wanted to tell Rachel, but he knew Finn had a right to know first, he was the one getting screwed the most here, but as soon as he knew Puck had decided to tell Rachel.

The conversation with Finn was ugly. They were at Quinn's house, her parents had left for the afternoon and they all sat on the front porch. Quinn had said she wanted to tell him but as soon as they all got settled in she got really quiet, like she didn't quite know how to start.

So Puck had told him. Had just come right out with it. Apologized, took the punch Finn threw, listened to him yell and Quinn cry. Because, as horrible as it sounded, he wanted to do anything to make this go faster so he could go tell Rachel. That was the confrontation he was worried about it. He knew Quinn and Finn would be fine. Finn would be mad at her for awhile, but he would forgive her. They were in love and he couldn't imagine Finn Hudson ever being with anyone that wasn't Quinn Fabray.

He didn't really know where he and Finn would end up. He hoped that Finn would forgive him as well, Finn was just that kind of guy, but he wouldn't hold it against him if he didn't. Puck knew he didn't deserve it, he had screwed Finn over in the worst way and that was the worst thing. They were best friends since they were kids. They knew everything about each other, the good and the bad. And now this. And this was pretty bad.

Finn yelled for awhile, kept yelling as more things came to him, as he remembered the stress of the last few months, working, trying to plan for the future. And he didn't even have to. He barely batted an eye when Quinn pulled out all the money he'd given her and handed it back over, you could tell from the look on his face that he wasn't really listening to her as he took it all in.

After awhile Finn sat down on the swing and was just silent. Quinn looked at Puck again before reaching a hand out to touch Finn's shoulder. He jerked away before she even touched him and she cringed. Puck watched his friend's face crumble as Quinn told him about the family she'd met, about how great they were and what an amazing life their daug-that Drizzle would have. He watched the disbelief in his friend's eyes when Quinn told him that Puck was going to be present for the delivery and that Puck was going to meet the family and that he was more than welcome to take part in all these things also. He watched as Finn's fist connected with his face again.

Puck wasn't aware that Finn knew how to hit so hard. Didn't realize that he had blacked out until he opened his eyes and saw that Finn was gone and only Quinn remained on the porch, gazing silently into the distance.

Puck groaned. His head hurt, really hurt. Finn must have found some time to keep up his weight training over the summer, cause damn.

"He left." Quinn's voice was subdued and Puck got up slowly to join her on the swing. "He said he really didn't feel like talking to either one of us anymore. Told me to stay away from him and thanked me for ruining both of your lives."

He expected to find tears when he looked over at her, but there weren't. Just miserable eyes that were full of grudging acceptance. "He'll come around."

Quinn glanced at him. "Would you?"

Puck shrugged. "I don't know. He loves you, Quinn. A lot. He'll forgive you eventually, even if he never speaks to me again."

Quinn shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not. It's really up to him now."

"He'll come around," Puck repeated.

"Are you going to tell Rachel?"

"Yeah. Soon. I hate carrying this whole thing around, I'm ready for it to be in the open. Just deal with it, you know?"

"Yeah. I do. I should have listened to you from the beginning. It would have sucked but at least it wouldn't have come to this."

"I think it would have come to this no matter what, Quinn. Finn's a good guy and he loves you, it's just going to take some time."

"What about Rachel? What do you think she'll say?"

Puck sighed. "I'm not sure. I'm really not. I mean, part of me doesn't know why I'm worrying so much, she's not my girlfriend or anything, we weren't dating back then. But I do. Worry."

"If she loves you as much as you say Finn loves me…she'll come around."

Puck shrugged. "Maybe."

Quinn nudged his shoulder with hers. "Well, why don't you go tell her and find out?"

Puck stopped by the Berry house, but her dads said she wasn't home. He called her cell phone but she didn't answer. Sent her a text telling her to call him, that he needed to talk to her. He waited an hour before getting restless. She hadn't called, hadn't texted back, and when he called her house her dads said she still hadn't been home yet. He was driving around town in his truck looking for her car when he saw her. She was sitting alone on the swings of the old playground and his gut instantly clenched. He had a bad feeling about this.

He approached her but she didn't acknowledge him. He took the swing next to hers, but she still didn't look at him.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before he couldn't stand it anymore. "There's something I need to tell you," he said quietly.

"Yeah, I imagine there is." He blinked, unsure where the bitterness in her voice came from.

"Rach?"

"I talked to Finn."

Puck swore in his head. He should have known Finn would find Rachel and tell her.

"It's true?"

Puck ran his hand through his mohawk. "Yeah. It's true."

"And you've known all along?" The bitter tone was gone now, her calm carefully constructed and seeping through her words.

"Yeah."

"Ok."

"…ok?"

"What do you expect me to say? What am I supposed to say?"

"I don't know, I thought you'd be mad."

"I am mad. You lied to everyone, you let Finn walk around thinking he was going to be a father, panicking, working himself to death all summer to prepare for a baby that wasn't even his!"

"I know."

"Good."

"Are you ok?"

She looked at him with a blank face, which, on Rachel Berry, Queen of the Facial Expression, was an odd sight. "Why wouldn't I be?"

He hesitated. "I don't know, I just thought you'd be more…mad."

She turned away from him again, facing out into the night. "I hate secrets. I hate the lying and the deception and just...everything. I thought you were different, I thought you had changed."

He reached for her hand, disappointed when she pulled it away. "Rach, I am."

"No. You're not. Because if you were, you wouldn't have kept this to yourself. I feel like I don't even know you, like the last few months with you have been a complete lie. The Noah I know would never do this. But you did and you just let it go on and that means that the Noah I thought I knew isn't really the Noah you are."

"That's not true. It just got so out of control and it was just easier not to-"

"Not to what, tell the truth!" she snapped. "Well, how convenient for you. To be able to walk away and have a life while other people were taking care of your problems. We should all be so lucky."

"Rachel, I know that you're angry. You have a right to be. Just tell me how to make this better."

She stared at him with a look that was so not Rachel, all cold and unfeeling. "Just leave me alone, Puck. Just leave me alone."


	5. Chapter 5

Rachel had left Puck on the playground that night and went home feeling completely miserable. The last few months her life had seemed to have fallen into place, and now it all just seemed so fake. Everything was based on this huge lie, even if it didn't directly involve her directly. It just all felt so wrong now.

She had been surprised when she had opened her front door to find Finn standing there. He looked miserable.

"_Finn?" she asked, grasping the edge of the door. "Is everything ok?"_

_He didn't say anything, just shook his head. _

_Rachel opened the door a little wider. "Do you wanna talk about it?"_

_He swallowed hard. "Not here. Can we just sit in my car for a little while?"_

_She nodded and grabbed her jacket, following him outside._

_They sat in silence for a little while before he said anything. "I just can't believe it," he murmured._

"_Believe what?"_

_He looked at her then, with eyes welling with tears. "Drizzle," he whispered._

_Rachel's heart stopped. "Is the baby ok? Quinn?"_

_He gave a short bark of laughter. "The baby's fine. It's just not mine."_

_Rachel out her hand on his arm. "Finn, I'm so sorry. Are you sure?"_

"_Oh yeah. They told me tonight."_

"_I'm so sorry. Did Quinn say…I mean, did she say why?"_

"_Because she's a bitch?" he said bitterly. "Everyone's always said so, I don't know why I'm surprised."_

"_Well," Rachel started carefully, "she used to be, there's really no point denying that. But she's different now, Finn. This whole thing has changed her, you have to admit that."_

"_I just…I can't believe this is happening."_

"_I'm so sorry."_

"_Yeah, me too. It's bad enough that my best friend slept with my girlfriend, but now the baby's his too, and-"_

"_Wait, what?"_

_Finn looked at her. "What?"_

"_What did you just say?" Rachel asked slowly._

"_My best friend?" She nodded. "Oh, yeah, it's Puck's kid. My best friend, the guy I've known since we were kids, slept with my girlfriend, got her pregnant and never bothered to let me in on that."_

_Rachel's head was spinning. Puck. Quinn. Baby. That couldn't be right. He wouldn't do that. But she knew in the back of her mind, he would. The Puck he used to be would have in a heartbeat._

"_Are you sure?" she asked quietly._

"_They told me together, Rach," Finn said, resignation in his voice. "Quinn said that Puck was going to be involved and be there when the baby was born and then she told me about this family she found that she wants to give the baby to and that Puck was going to meet them and she said I could too, and I just…lost it," he admitted. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do now."_

"_Maybe you should just take a few days and think about it," she suggested numbly. "Don't make any big decisions right now, don't do anything you might regret later."_

"_I hit him," Finn admitted. "Twice."_

_Rachel blanched. "Well…maybe you shouldn't be around them until you cool down and figure some things out."_

_Finn groaned. "My mom is gonna be so upset. She was mad when she found out but I think a part of her was hoping Quinn would keep it. She kept offering to help out and be there for Quinn with baby advice and stuff and she said she was so proud of me for working so hard to make things right. I don't even know how to tell her now."_

"_Give it a few days," Rachel said again. "Don't do anything right now, just think for awhile. Take some time."_

"_Yeah. I guess. I should probably get home anyway, it's late and I'm kind of drained. Thanks for talking to me, Rach."_

_She smiled weakly at him. "Any time."_

She had gone to the playground after that, just sitting by herself on the swings, thinking and staring out into the night. Puck had called her twice, sent her a text saying he needed to talk to her, but she hadn't responded. She didn't know what to say to him right now.

She wasn't sure how long she had sat there before he sat down beside her. He seemed shocked that she wasn't more angry when he told her about Quinn's baby being his. She didn't know if she could find the words to explain what she was feeling.

The anger. The humiliation. The familiar feeling of being the butt of someone's joke. She knew they weren't keeping this secret from her, not directly, but it still felt like it. The fact that there was this huge lie in their lives and he was a big part in it made her feel like everything else had been shaken up as well. She couldn't look at him the same way anymore, couldn't be with him the same way anymore. It didn't feel real. She was the consolation prize again, their friendship a direct result of the fact that he couldn't be with Quinn and the baby. She knew that if Quinn had allowed him to claim the child he wouldn't have been spending nearly as much time with her. But since he wasn't allowed to claim the baby as his, he ducked out completely and found something to take his mind off of it. He found her. He had even just admitted to her that it was easier not to deal with the situation and she knew enough to read between the lines. She was simple and a good distraction from the complications of his life.

She couldn't believe she had been so stupid. Here she was, thinking she had developed feelings, strong feelings, for Noah Puckerman and that maybe he had developed some too. She had thought they had something special, something that, even though the rest of the Glee kids didn't understand, they saw too. Now she just felt so completely stupid.

She was glad she had never acted on any of her feelings. She was probably already being laughed at anyway, imagine how it would have been if she had confessed her true feelings for the bad boy.

She barely remembered her conversation with Puck on the swings, just the anger and numbness and complete and utter humiliation she felt when she told him to stay away from her before she left him sitting on the swings alone.

In the two weeks since the baby reveal, things had gotten back to normal for Rachel. If you count normal as being completely alone, with no friends or social life or any reason to get up in the morning. It was hard to believe that this had really been her life for awhile, before Puck. She chastised herself daily for her involvement with the bad boy, her delusions that they had been friends. It had distracted her from her ultimate goal of getting out of the wretched little town. She resumed posting her daily Myspace videos, something she hadn't done in months. She steeled herself for the mocking barrage of comments the videos usually inspired, but aside from one or two, there was nothing too scathing.

Puck had called every day, texted constantly for the first two weeks, begging her to just talk to him. He had shown up at her house with flowers, popcorn, musicals, anything he could think of, but she always had her fathers either turn him away or she just refused to go to the door if he showed up when he knew she was home alone. Her fathers were confused, to say the least, but she told them she didn't want to discuss it and they hesitantly left it alone.

His texts ranged from how sorry he was that he lied, to the guilt he felt about Finn, to how scared he was, or something simpler like what pool he would be cleaning the next morning and how much he hoped to see her there. He left voicemails begging her to call him, saying how much he missed her and how much he understood his actions were wrong.

She never responded to any of it.

She knew school was starting next week and she was dreading it. She knew she couldn't hide in her house forever and he was sure to corner her the very first chance he got. But she was determined. Rachel Berry was no one's fool. Sure, she had detoured from her plan slightly, but she was back now and more committed than ever to make it through high school and on to the bigger and better things.

Watch out, McKinley High. Rachel Berry was back.


	6. Chapter 6

If you had told Puck a year ago he would actually be looking forward to the first day of school he would have laughed and threw a slushie on you. He hated school. Well, not really, but he wouldn't pick it over summer vacation, that was for sure. But this year was different.

Rachel hadn't talked to him in weeks, since the big baby reveal. He had tried, calling her every day, texting her every day. He even went to her house every day, bringing her presents, until one of her dads had finally suggested in a pseudo-friendly manner that he stop showing up so often. Puck probably would have punched someone if they'd told him that he'd be bringing a girl gifts too. Noah Puckerman did not bring girls gifts. The only gift he'd ever brought girls were condoms, his little contribution to the fun. And clearly that had worked as well for him as all the things Rachel wouldn't accept.

He had done everything possible and she still wasn't talking. He was prepared for yelling, lectures on what was right and wrong, but she was doing _nothing._ She wasn't even acknowledging him, and right now, he would give almost anything for a Rachel Berry morality lecture.

His only hope of getting a chance with her was school. There were only so many places to hide around there, and years of sneaking around with slutty, inappropriate girls had taught him most of them. There was no way she could hide. And even if she managed to avoid him in the hallways there was still Glee Club practice after school. He knew that she was posting Myspace videos again, so he knew that was ok, that her passion for singing was still there and there was no way she was quitting New Directions to avoid him. She may be mad, but she's still Rachel Berry.

He would hunt her down first thing in the morning, hang out by her locker all day if he had to. Because if these last few weeks had taught him anything it was that a life without Rachel Berry was pretty empty.

She was late to school the first morning. He had waited by her locker as long as he could, grape slushie in hand, until the bell had rung and Principal Figgins had made him go to class, under threat of detention. And detention meant missing Glee Club, and there was no way he was missing that, not today.

He was worried that she hadn't shown up at all, since he had been late to every class, waiting by her locker, and she had never shown up. But Kurt told him in English fourth period that she was here, just avoiding her locker for some reason. He could tell from the way Kurt was eyeing him, waiting for a story, that Rachel hadn't said anything to him about why, and for that he was grateful. He didn't want to have to deal with the whole Glee Club on his back when he really only cared about dealing with her.

He wondered if she'd talked to Finn at all during the last few weeks. Probably. He knew that should probably bother him, but it didn't. Much. He was the asshole in this, he didn't deserve anything from any of them. Didn't mean he wouldn't try for it though.

He knew from Quinn that Finn was starting to come around more. When he had taken her to the doctor last week she had mentioned that Finn had called her, asking how she was feeling. She said it was a long way from where they were before, but it was something.

She'd had the doctor print four pictures of her last sonogram, one for each of them and the Jamesons. She was pretty set on them adopting their daughter and a lawyer was drawing up some papers for them all to sign.

She had asked him again about meeting with them, but he kept putting her off. He was so focused on Rachel right now, getting to talk to her or see her or anything, and he really didn't know if he was ready to see the people his daughter would spend her life with yet.

He stalked Rachel the rest of the day, but still never saw her. Either he was slipping or she had found some really good, secret hiding place he never knew about. And he so did not want to think about how she found one of those.

His last shot was Glee. He knew that he'd see her eventually, she couldn't keep the hiding up for the whole school year, eventually he'd figure out how she was doing it, but he felt it was imperative (another one of her stupid SAT words she was always throwing at him) that he talk to her today. It had to be today. And Glee Club was the perfect spot.

Rachel had gotten lucky. She managed to avoid him all day, even if it meant being late to school for the very first time in her academic life. So much for her flawless attendance record. She had managed to fake illness in every class and get herself excused five minutes before everyone else, racing to her locker and on to her next class before he had ever left his. She knew that he would find her eventually, she couldn't keep this up forever, someone had already started spreading a rumor that she was bulimic and puking before every class, but for now it was something.

She just wasn't sure if she was ready to see him. She had done everything possible to remove him from her life, systematically destroying every bit of the person she had become when she was with him, and she wasn't quite sure if she wanted to test that yet. But school was over and it was time for Glee Club practice and probably the confrontation she'd been avoiding all day. She glanced at the closed door to the practice room, took a deep breath, flipped her hair over her shoulder, channeled her inner diva and marched into the room.

She was shocked to see he was already sitting there. In the front row. Her row. And how dare he, because he was Puck, the bad boy, the rebel without a cause, and he had always, **always** sat in the back corner, behind everyone else. Except when he didn't. There was a time that he had sat beside her sometimes, dropping the image that he was there against his will. But Rachel didn't remember that. Nope. Because that didn't happen. He was always the bad boy, the rebel without a cause, and he would always be relegated to the back corner. And she was Rachel Berry. The star, destined to shine, front and center, for all to see. And she would be damned if she confused the two again.

She dropped her bag to the floor and defiantly tipped her chin up, sitting down directly next to him. It was her spot, after all, just because he was sitting in such close proximity didn't mean she was going to cave. She crossed her legs primly and started riffling through some sheet music she had brought with her.

She tensed when she heard him scoot his chair closer. He leaned in close. "Can we talk?" he asked in a low voice.

"No." There you go, Rachel, voice level, tone cool. You'll win that Tony yet.

"Please? We haven't talked in weeks. I just need to-"

"To what?" she interrupted, glancing at him briefly. "Explain? There's nothing to explain, Puck. There's nothing to say." Ok, so maybe she'd benefit from some acting classes before her first Tony.

"I miss you, Rach," he said, and it was so heartfelt, so full of emotion that she actually hesitated. He sounded like-but no. He couldn't sound like _her_ Puck because that Puck didn't exist. And there was nothing _hers_ about him.

Rachel turned to Mercedes, who had been trying to listen in discretely, without even acknowledging him. "Mercedes, have you been working on anything vocally over the summer?"

She listened with half an ear as Mercedes described the new ballad she was working on, noticing with dismay that Puck did not back away. He was still as close, still right there. She could almost feel his breath, warm on her face, his hand close to hers…

"Rachel!"

She jumped as Mercedes called her name, opening the eyes she hadn't realized she'd closed.

"Yes?"

"Are you ok? You completely spaced out."

"Yeah, sorry."

"You should be," Mercedes huffed. "Don't go 'round asking people questions if you're not even planning to listen when they answer you."

"Sorry," Rachel mumbled again. She turned to stare silently forward as the rest of the Glee Club filed in. She could see Puck out of the corner of her eye, still sitting close to her, just watching her.

"Stop it," she hissed.

"Stop what?" She knew if she looked at him he'd have that stupid smirk on his face, the one he always wore when he knew he was getting under someone's skin and was enjoying it.

"Stop staring at me. Go sit in the back or something."

He leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest. "Nah. I'm good here."

She narrowed her eyes but still refused to look at him. She was counting the minutes until practice started and she would have somewhere else to focus her attention, and hopefully he would as well.

So of course Mr. Shuester was ten minutes late. Rachel could hear the rest of the kids conversing about their summers and their classes as she stared determinedly at a piece of music that she doubted she could even name. She heard Finn and Quinn talking, tentatively, but still, they were talking. She guessed Finn had forgiven Quinn. Puck hadn't said anything else to her, but she knew he was still staring at her. She could feel it. He had these intense eyes that just bore into you and made you want to…

She snapped her folder closed. She had to stop thinking like that. She was getting distracted again and getting distracted would get her nowhere. She just needed to put in her time here in high school and then it was off to stardom. Funny how the thought of riding her stardom to the top alone didn't seem to make her feel the same these days.

Mr. Shue finally arrived and his hands were full of sheet music. "Welcome back, guys!" he said. "I've seen some of you in classes today, but for those I haven't, I hope you guys had a good summer and are ready to put in some more hard work this year. I think we've got all the talent we need to beat Vocal Adrenaline this year, so it all depends on you guys and how much you want it." He stepped to the piano and riffled through his sheet music. Finding what he was looking for, he gestured to Rachel and Puck. "I didn't forget my promise, guys, I found the perfect song for you two to sing. And depending on the arrangement we go with we could either use it for the ballad or as a duet."

He handed them the sheet music and Rachel cringed. Oh no. Not this song. She _hated_ this song. Well, not really, but still. This was so not the appropriate song for her to be singing with _Noah Puckerman_. Except that, yeah, it kind of was. She glanced at Mr. Shue to see if he was getting a little laugh at their expense, but he had already moved on to the next thing.

"You guys take a look at the song, go over the lyrics, we'll start rehearsing that one next week," he said. "Ok, now-"

"Uh, Mr. Shuester, I don't think this is the song for us to sing," Rachel interrupted. "In fact, maybe Mercedes and Finn should have the duet, they have a uniquely amazing sound together and-"

"Rachel, I thought you wanted to sing with Puck. And you guys sounded so good when you sang together last year that I completely agree with you," Mr. Shue said. "Do you not like the song?"

"Well, it is a little outdated," Rachel said, sensing she wasn't going to get out of singing with Puck completely.

Quinn leaned down over Puck's shoulder to read the music. "Oh, no, I think it's perfect," she said.

Rachel glared at the blonde girl. "Thank you, Quinn, for your thoughtful opinion, but as I said, I think it's too outdated for New Directions."

"Well, we've done older stuff before," Artie pointed out, leaning down to see the song as well. "Besides, it's not that old. If we can sing Madonna, we can definitely perform this."

"My thoughts exactly, Artie," Mr. Shue said. "Ok, so we'll get started on this next week, we'll have you guys learn the song and do some run through vocals and we'll figure out where to work the rest of the group in and maybe some choreography later. Ok, now, I have a few other ideas, I'm gonna pass around the music here…"

Rachel tuned Mr. Shuester out as he continued talking about their new numbers this year. She glanced at the music in her hand again. She was really going to hate this. She turned to look at Puck, only to find him smirking devilishly in her direction. Oh yeah. Hating this already.

Puck headed out of Glee practice that night determined to catch up with Rachel, but she was quicker than him and had disappeared by the time he'd reached the parking lot. She was probably still trying to figure out a way out of their duet. He chuckled. She had put up quite a fight when she saw the music. He didn't mind it himself. He wasn't too familiar with the song, but it sounded ok and the lyrics were good and he was sure his mom had it on cassette tape somewhere around the house. He could definitely envision him and Rachel singing it together, even if she was repulsed by the thought. He laughed out loud again and would bet anything she'd come to the next Glee practice with an alternative song choice for them to sing, because, despite the fact that she had tried hard to push the duet off on someone else, Mr. Shue seemed determined that Rachel and Puck be the ones to sing it. Not that Puck could blame him. They were two good looking, talented Jews.

"What's so funny?" Quinn asked, coming up behind him.

He grinned at her. "Just thinking about what song Rachel is gonna try to get Mr. Shue to give us instead of this one."

Quinn grinned. "Yeah, she pretty much flipped. But it's funny, I think that song is so perfect for you guys."

He nudged her with his shoulder. "And thanks for saying so."

She grinned again. "No problem. Still not talking to you, huh?"

He shook his head, smile momentarily wiped off his face. "No. But I'm hoping she'll come around. I mean, she can't hide forever and it's only going to be a matter of time before she finds my performance completely inadequate and insists on rehearsal time outside of Glee."

Quinn laughed again. "Planning on seducing her like last time?"

Puck snorted. "Please. Last time she totally seduced me. I made an innocent suggestion and she totally went with it. Don't think that's gonna happen this time."

"Please. Innocent suggestion? You? I'll believe it when I see it."

Puck pondered the thought. "True. Never thought she'd go for it though." He grinned again, remembering the feel of her body on his, legs that went on for miles wrapped around him on her bed in her audaciously pink bedroom. God, that was hot.

A smack to the shoulder brought him out of his reverie. "Ow! What was that for?"

"I don't know what you were thinking, and I don't want to know," Quinn held her hands up, warding off his explanation. "I just wanted to see if you could give me a ride home."

He sighed theatrically. "Fine."

She smacked him again just for good measure.


	7. Chapter 7

As predicted, Rachel had brought in a multitude of song choices to the next few practices, trying desperately to get Mr. Shuester to choose another song. She chose 80s songs, soul songs, Broadway songs, Disney songs, anything that meant she didn't have to sing _that song._ But Mr. Shue told her none of the songs conveyed enough emotion, which was why he had selected the song he had.

Then, since he seemed so set on the song, she tried in vain to get him to select another pair for the duet. Everyone watched in awe one practice as she went around the room, pointing out various combinations of singers he could use for it and pointing out each member's individual talents.

"Kurt has an extraordinary range for a male," she said. "A heavenly voice. Just what this song needs. And it would sound wonderful matched with Quinn or Tina's vocals, Mr. Shue."

He sighed tolerantly, used to the argument after several days. "Rachel, their voices would sound magical, just not on this song. I chose this song because it suits Puck's voice so well, and even though it didn't originally contain a female part, your voice, powerful as it is, will fit in well here. And the emotion, the passion, of the song is something I know you two can convey, no problem."

"Ok, but Mercedes is just as powerful as me, maybe more so for this particular song, and Matt or Mike could carry it just as well as Puck can. Or have Puck sing it with Mercedes! That would be a great combo." She rambled on, not noticing that the room was deathly silent, all her fellow Glee members shocked at her having so many complimentary things to say at once.

"Rachel," Mr. Shue said with a note of exasperation in his voice, "this is the song we're doing and you and Puck are doing it. Please be ready to sing it on Thursday."

She pouted quietly the rest of practice while Puck smirked and the rest of the group whispered theories about her suffering a brain tumor or being abducted by aliens.

When Thursday came around Rachel was late to practice. First time ever. Puck was starting to doubt if she was going to show at all, and judging from the resigned look on Mr. Shue's face, he was too, but she finally entered, literally dragging her feet and not in any hurry whatsoever. Puck smirked again and joined her in the center of the room.

The song was horrible. No, he thought, the song was fine, she was horrible. They were horrible. Whatever chemistry they had possessed last year was clearly gone now, as she wouldn't even look at him, let alone touch him. They were just two people singing the same song, with none of the passion or emotion Mr. Shue had said they could convey. They ran through the song once, went back to the beginning to incorporate one of Mr. Shue's suggestions. After that Mr. Shue motioned for them to take their seats. He looked baffled and the rest of the members just shot them both pitying looks. It really was a horrible number. Kurt had flashbacks to their first days in Glee Club, before Finn had joined, trying to put together fantabulous numbers with just himself, Rachel, Artie, Tina and Mercedes. And he thought that was painful; it was nothing compared to the performance Rachel and Puck had just given.

Mr. Shue kept them for a few more minutes but let them all go early when it became apparent that everyone was still thinking about what they had just witnessed.

Puck was on his way out the door with everyone else when Mr. Shue called him back.

"Puck, is everything ok?"

Puck cocked his head to the side, hiding a grin. "What do you mean, Mr. Shue?"

Mr. Shue grimaced, not wanting to discourage one of his students, especially when he was finally stepping out from the back row. "Uh, just…uh, the song. Do you think it's the wrong choice?"

"Nah, I think it's a good one, Mr. Shue."

"Ah, ok, ah…well, we'll just have to put some more practice into it, I guess," he mused. "Does Rachel really have that big a problem with the song?"

Puck grinned. "For now. But I'm working on it, Mr. Shue. I'm working on it."

Quinn followed Rachel out of the choir room. "Hey, wait up!" she called. "Slow down, I'm too pregnant to chase you!"

Rachel turned around, smiling slightly. "Hey, Quinn."

Quinn panted a little, mildly disgusted with herself and the shape she was in. "Hey. Rough practice, huh?"

Rachel rolled her eyes. "You could say that."

They started walking towards the parking lot. "That's too bad, because it's a really pretty song," Quinn said. "Not like a chart topper or anything, but it's still pretty awesome. I thought you guys would bring down the house with it."

"Yes, well," Rachel said uncomfortably, "as I have been trying to tell everyone, it is not the right song or we are not the right performers, one or the other."

Quinn shook her head. "Yeah, see, I don't think that's really true. You guys were _amazing_ when you sang last year. I think you guys just need to let it go and get back to amazing again."

Rachel glared briefly at the former cheerleader. "Well, that's probably not going to happen."

Quinn stopped walking and Rachel stopped next to her. When she looked at the girl, the cheerleader's eyes were filled with remorse. "He's sorry, you know."

Rachel turned away, saying nothing.

"He knows he never should have kept this secret, from any of you. He actually said that from the beginning. I was the one who wanted Finn to be the father, so bad, because it made things easier, you know? It was hard enough to be pregnant at 17, but pregnant with your boyfriend's best friend? Forget it. I was a little selfish about the whole thing, but it was totally me."

"I just don't get why he lied," Rachel admitted quietly. "Lied to me."

"He was scared, I think" Quinn said. "Which I totally get. He was going to lose his best friend. Become the most hated guy around again, which sucks because he's changed so much. And if he told the truth, to the world or even just to himself, he'd have to deal with what a shitty person he was, how horrible what we did was. And that sucks. Because while everyone makes mistakes, it really sucks having to deal with them, especially this one, which is so multilayered in its suckiness."

Rachel giggled a little at her reasoning, and a little bit more when she realized it actually made sense. "I'm still not talking to him."

"I get that," Quinn nodded. "But maybe…maybe you could try. On the song, at least. For Glee? You guys really would sound amazing on it, if you would try. And I think maybe you didn't today."

Rachel opened her mouth to protest, to say she did try, but really, she knew she didn't. For the first time in her life a song was just a song. She couldn't find the feeling behind it. Well, ok, she could, but she wouldn't let herself. It was too much. Every time she went over the lyrics at home, tried to sing with the passion she always did, she ended up in tears, wanting back what they'd had. The comfort, the familiarity. It was gone, but she knew it would be there if she let it and it was just too much. The song resonated with her too much and she knew if she got up in practice and sang that with him and looked into his eyes and let herself feel the feelings the song evoked, she would lose it right there in front of everybody. And she wasn't ready to feel so open with him again, it still hurt so much thinking it was all just convenient for him, a way to forget his drama by being someone else. And now she wasn't sure which him was the real him anymore. And she was afraid to find out.

Quinn was talking again. "Just try, for us. For the group, for Mr. Shue, for the song. You have to admit, it's an awesome song. Totally out of left field, but hey, whatever works, right?"

Rachel nodded. "I guess I could have done a little better today. With the song."

"We all know you're a better singer than you showed today. How could we not, when you rub it in our faces all the time?" Quinn rolled her eyes.

Rachel blushed a little. "I don't mean to be so annoying all the time."

"Relax, you're not. Not anymore. Just…everyone knows you're amazing, you know? You don't have to tell them for them to see it. In fact, when you do tell them it makes them see it even less, because it's coming from your mouth instead of them seeing it through their own eyes. Just let your voice speak for itself…so to speak," Quinn laughed.

Rachel laughed with her. "Is this weird? Us being civil, actually having a conversation? Shouldn't you hate me or something?"

"Shouldn't you hate me?" Quinn shot back. "Shouldn't we hate each other? Probably. But I'm hated by enough people these days and you know what I've realized? It's exhausting to hate people. It's exhausting being the bitch all the time. Acceptance is so much easier and it's so much easier to maintain. I can just be me, you know? Not the bitchy head cheerleader or the slutty pregnant girl, just me. And I know this sounds extremely corny, but I have Glee Club to thank for that."

"It was good for you guys," Rachel said.

"It's good for all of us," Quinn corrected. "Everyone's just so accepting. If you let them be," she said, shooting a pointed glance at the brunette.

Rachel held up her hands in mock surrender. "I said I'd try!"

"Make sure you do," Quinn said. "It's not advisable to cross a pregnant woman."

Mr. Shuester hesitantly suggested Rachel and Puck practice their duet again on Tuesday and was pleasantly surprised that it sounded better far better than it had the week before. There was still something lacking, that spark that would bring the song to life and give it meaning, but he was willing to take whatever progress they had already made for now.

Puck was actually a little surprised that the song went better the second time they practiced it. He had been dreading another lackluster performance from the girl who could out-sing them all at the same time, but she seemed a little better today. She actually put a little feeling into the song this time, not a lot, but it was much improved over last week. So what if she wasn't really looking at him, so much as above him, the whole time she sang? How much did that really matter, right?

He wondered how much more improvement he could expect. To say he had practically tackled Quinn (well, not really, with her being pregnant with his kid and all) after he saw Rachel drive away after practice last week was an understatement. He had seen the two girls talking civilly, laughing, for an extended period of time, and had to rub his eyes to make sure he got it right. Because that stuff just didn't happen every day. But recent circumstances seemed to indicate that maybe, just maybe, that stuff could happen every day.

Quinn had assured him that Rachel was coming around, slowly, painfully slowly, in his mind, but she was. She wouldn't give him the specifics of the conversation, just told him it was nice to just relax and then suggested he remove the stick from his ass more often as well and join the rest of the world before skipping, awkwardly, off to her own car. He had hated the bitch act she put on when she was a cheerleader, but he was pretty sure he hated the optimistic sunshiney Quinn even more.

A few days later Rachel was in her room, trying to decide which gold star earrings to wear to school the next day (because, yes, they had all been through a lot lately, but she was still Rachel Berry), when her Daddy yelled upstairs that she had company. Curious as to who would possibly be visiting her at her house, as Noah was the only one who ever had (Puck, she reminded herself, Puck- but it was no use, he was becoming Noah in her mind once more). She was more than shocked to see Finn in the foyer, towering over Daddy.

"Finn, she exclaimed. "Hello."

He grinned in response. "Hey, Rachel."

Her Daddy gave her a silly thumbs up behind Finn's back and she had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. "Would you like to come upstairs?"

Once in her bedroom, she turned to him. "So what brings you by tonight, Finn?"

He shrugged. "I just wanted to see how you were doing."

"I'm doing well, Finn. But you didn't have to come all the way over on a school night to ask me that, you could have just asked me at school today, or in the morning."

"Yeah, I know, I guess I really just wanted to see how you were doing with the whole Puck thing. You know, the duet and everything."

"I'm ok. The song is finally starting to get a little better, thank goodness."

Finn sat down on her bed, the springs sagging slightly under his weight. "Yeah, but how are you? I mean, really."

She sat down beside him. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

"I'm doing ok, actually," he said. "Quinn and I are...talking again. It's hard because I'm still so angry, but I think that if we can get back to trusting each other again we'll be ok. Friends first, that's what we're shooting for."

"That's good, Finn, I'm happy you guys are making progress."

"I talked to Puck too," he said quietly.

She whipped her head around. "When?"

He shrugged. "A few days ago. It was…brutal."

She grimaced. "You didn't kill him, did you?"

Finn laughed. "Nah. I'm pretty sure he could take me anyway. We just talked. The thing is, it's kind of hard to be so mad at him right now. I mean, he's so different than he was before…before all this. He'll actually talk to me now, you know? Like really talk."

"I'm glad, Finn," Rachel said softly.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm still pissed as hell that he slept with my girlfriend, but he's sorry, more sorry than I've ever seen him be for anything. And I get why he kept it a secret. I don't like it, but I get it. It's hard to say no to Quinn, and she said that it really was her decision to keep it a secret and that he went along with it pretty much against his will. And I believe that. Because I don't think Puck would ever push his kid off on someone else, especially with his dad being the way he is. And with his dad being back now, or trying to be, I think it brings up enough bad memories that he didn't _want_ to push his kid or his responsibilities on me."

"It makes sense."

"Yeah. His dad was really shitty, Rach. I was there, I saw a lot of it. Puck really had to step up and take care of his mom and sister and he hates his dad for that." He paused and looked at her. "His dad's back now, you know."

Rachel looked down sheepishly. "I actually did know," she admitted.

"He talked to you about it?"

"Yeah. He called one night and said his dad was back and we talked a little. Then we had lunch."

"With his dad?"

"Yeah."

"Are you kidding me?"

She looked at him strangely. "No, why?"

"Well, first of all Puck hates his dad, and with good reason. And Puck never talks about his dad. With anyone."

"You seem to know an awful lot about it," she points out.

"Yeah, because I was there," Finn said. "Because I saw it. Not because we talked about it. And because Puck's a girly drunk sometimes, he likes to talk a lot and then he forgets about it afterwards. The only time he's ever willingly talked about his dad to me, other than the other day, is when he's been too trashed to remember it the next day."

"I knew he didn't like to talk about it, but I never realized he'd refused," Rachel mused.

"So you guys had lunch with his dad? How did that go?"

"Awkward. Uncomfortable. For all of us," she added. "But…I think it was good. Whether Noah and his father reconcile or not, I think it was the step he needed to take. He got to show his father that he's a man now and he got to show himself that the man he is is not the man that his father was."

"That's why he needs you," Finn said. "Because you get him. You got all of that from him and you never had to pull it out of him or get him drunk or threaten him with his mother. You guys work together, Rach."

"I really don't think so, Finn."

"Do you remember what you told me when I first found out about the baby being Puck's? You told me to go home. You told me to take some time and think about it and not make any big decisions right away or say anything I'd regret."

"I remember," she murmured.

"Did you do the same? Did you think about it or let him explain or did you just walk away and shut down?"

Rachel was quiet for a few minutes. Finally she said, "I walked away."

"Why?"

"Because…I don't know, because I was hurt."

"Why?"

"Because I just felt so…used? No, that's not the word. Maybe it is. I just felt like he was killing time hanging out with me, using me as a distraction from everything else and that he wasn't ever really there at all."

"And you were too there?'

She smiled sadly. "Yeah. I definitely was."

"Trust me. He was there too. Right there with you on everything. He knows he screwed up. Quinn said he came to her and told her they needed to tell me about the baby because of you, not because of me, which pisses me of too, but I get it. He was so worried about your reaction that he wanted you to know, even if it meant me knowing and never speaking to him again."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Maybe he loves you? Or could? Either way, I've never known Puck to do something that's going to bring it all down on him just for someone else."

"It just hurt," she said. "It made everything feel so fake and I felt so…stupid."

"It wasn't fake," Finn assured her. "You're forgetting we all saw you guys together, and it wasn't fake. You guys are way better together than you are apart, hands down, any day of the week. You've just gotta trust that, Rach. You've just gotta trust him."


	8. Chapter 8

Puck sat in his room and strummed his guitar idly one Friday night. He could barely believe it, but he actually found himself content. This was definitely not the typical Friday routine of years past, especially so soon after school started, which was when everyone had the best parties. But he hadn't been to a party in a long time, and he found he didn't really miss it that much.

He saw most of his friends pretty much daily anyway, between class and Glee Club. Of course, he never really went to the parties to see his friends, it was all about the ladies. Which was another thing he found himself not missing. Well, that wasn't exactly true, because, come on, he was Puck and he was a seventeen year old guy. But he didn't miss the randomness, the chase of hunting down a new girl, the way they all knew exactly what he wanted and gave it to him instantly. There were no surprises on that scene, not when you were a guy like Puck, with the looks and the reputation and the guns. He grinned. Yeah, his guns were badass.

What he did miss, however, was the familiarity of settling down to watch a movie with someone that you knew was going to talk through all the best parts, someone who was most likely going to fall asleep against your shoulder, someone who you'd have to carry up to bed and grumble the entire way that she was too heavy, even if it was a lie.

He missed being able to get under someone's skin just by giving them a look, making them squirm, sometimes blush. He missed the way someone chattered when they were nervous or excited or happy…hell, he just missed the chatter. And that someone could chatter well. She never shut up, and when she did, he found himself wanting the chatter to continue.

Kind of like now. He would give anything to be sitting with Rachel downstairs on his couch, listening to her chatter through all the best parts of a movie and then having to haul her around after she fell asleep, complaining loudly about how heavy she was so maybe she would feel bad and not fall asleep on him again.

He missed her. God, he missed her. She was so bright and bubbly and just…alive, and his life felt so empty without her. Sure, it had gone on. He had stepped up with Quinn, publicly, taking her to doctors appointments, doing what he could to make things easier for her. He had continued to try with Finn and felt they were making a little progress there, at the very least. But Rachel was a wall. Every time he tried, every time he thought maybe she was coming around she would shut him out again.

He knew she was angry about the secret he'd kept, especially considering how much she hated secrets and how big this one was, but he felt there was something else going on, something she wasn't saying. The anger over the secret would have dissipated by now, at least a little, especially if Finn's had. He had asked Quinn about it, but she had just told him that if he was really sorry and really wanted things to get better then he'd keep trying. That had been his plan anyway, but he was frustrated at the lack of insight she had suddenly developed.

It was odd the way the two girls had become first civil to each other and now almost friendly. He saw them occasionally talking outside of Glee practice, in the hallways or the parking lot, sometimes the lunchroom. It was strange to think they had once been bitter enemies, strange to think that they had bickered over Finn. It all seemed so long ago.

He supposed it was no stranger than the conversation he'd had with Finn a few days ago. He was shocked when his best friend (former best friend?) had shown up on his doorstep with a six pack of beer and a grim look.

They had talked. Yelled. Talked some more. And ok, he wasn't too manly to admit there might have been tears from both of them. They weren't back to where they were in their friendship, not even close really, but this new place was a lot better than the one Puck had hoped for.

Finn commented on how much he had changed, on how it was hard to believe he was the same guy who had slept with Quinn all those months ago. Puck wasn't sure he had changed so much, but Finn was insistent.

"_You're a good guy, man," Finn said. "You may not think so, but you are."_

"_Yeah, well, it's hard to believe that seeing where we're all at."_

"_Yeah, I know. It's a crappy situation. Believe me, I know." Finn shot him a glare. "But, you know, stuff happens. I wasn't exactly a saint either. I had a thing for Rachel, and even though I didn't act on it, it was there and I never said anything to Quinn. I even told her she was crazy when she said Rachel was after me, even though I knew she was."_

_Puck laughed. "Everyone knew she was, it wasn't really a secret."_

"_The point is, we all screwed up. Not to the degree you and Quinn did, but we all did. It's just been so messed up, I'm tired of it all. But I can honestly say that you're not the same guy who slept with Quinn."_

"_I'm glad you're so sure," Puck snorted._

"_And you're not? Come on, you've changed, Puck. For the better. And I think you know why."_

"_Nope. Not a clue."_

_Finn laughed and punched his friend on the shoulder. "Yes you do. And she's changed too. You guys were so good for each other, as friends or whatever you were. Don't give up on her, man."_

"_I'm not," Puck said. "I'm definitely not."_

They had popped open the six pack then and shotgunned the beers and spent the rest of the afternoon fairly buzzed. They talked a little more, though not about the baby situation. Puck couldn't remember a whole lot about what they talked about, he suspected his father might have been brought up, but, friend that he was, Finn hadn't said anything afterwards.

It was nice having his friend back. He still felt funny talking about the baby in front of Finn, and Finn always got this weird look on his face for a quick second when the baby was mentioned, but they were both trying and that's what mattered.

He just wished Rachel would let him try. He would do anything, whatever it took to get her to just _talk_ to him, just give him a shot, but she hadn't shown many signs of doing so.

Which was why he was surprised when his phone rang a few minutes later, her own special ringtone, and he had to double check the screen to make sure it was really her calling.

"Hello?"

"Hi."

He let out a breath when he heard her voice, directed at him for the first time in so long. "Rach."

"Um…listen, can we talk?"

It was quite possibly the last thing he had expected her to say, but it was what he'd been hoping for. "Sure." He waited but she didn't say anything else. "…now?"

"If that's ok," she said quietly.

"It's fine," he said quickly.

"Do you want to come over? I don't really want to have this conversation on the phone."

"I'll be there in ten," he promised.

In only took him eight minutes to get to her house. He was pretty sure he broke the speed limit on the way over but he didn't care. This was the first time she'd talked to him in months, really talked, and he wasn't about to give her time to think about it and change her mind.

He knocked on the door and she opened it immediately, like she'd been standing right there, waiting for him. She led him into the living room and when he sat on the couch, she sat on the opposite end. Neither one said anything at first. She fiddled with her hands, he watched her fiddling.

Finally he cleared his throat. "You wanted to talk?" he asked softly.

She looked startled but nodded. "Yeah."

He waited. "Ok."

"I just…I guess I don't know where to start."

"I miss you," he whispered.

"Me too," she whispered back, her dark eyes meeting his.

"I'm sorry."

"Me too."

"You didn't do anything wrong. I never should have kept the secret. I should have just said something, this would all have been out in the open if I hadn't gone along with Quinn. I knew it was wrong to do it, but I did it anyway, and I'm sorry."

Rachel shook her head. "I'm not mad about the secret, Noah. I'm not even mad, really. I just…don't know where to go from here."

"I figured," he said. "But it doesn't change the fact that I still knew it was wrong and I did it anyway."

"It just…you changed things," she explained. "For you and Finn. Finn and Quinn. Us."

"I know," he said quietly.

"I don't know that you do."

"Explain it to me," he urged.

"When I found out what you had done, with Quinn, and then that you had lied…it was like I didn't even know you. Which is ridiculous, because I had spent months getting to know you, the person I thought was the real you. I felt like I saw you and you saw me. And then this came out and you had known and hid it so well the whole time and I just…felt like I didn't know you at all. It felt like you were a stranger again and all the time we spent together, knowing each other, was fake and a total lie. And that hurt, because…"

"Because…" he prompted softly.

"There were feelings, Noah," she murmured. "You mattered to me, as more than a friend, I think, and the fact that it was all fake to you, all a distraction from everything else…it hurts."

"Is that what you think? That you were a distraction?"

"Wasn't I?"

"No! Well, not a conscious one, anyway. I loved spending time with you, being with you. Life was simple when I was with you, and that's not because you're a distraction, it's because it was just so natural. You never wanted me to be anything but me. You dealt with it when I said something stupid or did something stupid and never made me feel anything less for it. I got to just be me and really learn who that was for the first time. I didn't have to be perfect for you, Rach, and that meant everything to me."

"I just felt like, once I found out, that I was second best. A replacement for you not being able to be involved with Quinn and the baby all those months."

"I'm not going to deny that I would have been there for them if she had let me," Puck said. "So maybe our friendship did start to grow out of the fact that I couldn't be with them, but you were never second best, Rachel. Never. I didn't call you about my dad because I couldn't call Quinn. I didn't bring you to lunch with my dad, the first time I'd seen him in years, because Quinn couldn't go. I did it because it was you. You were the only person I wanted around for that. Because you're you and because you made me me."

"I just felt like a stand in for something, something to keep you busy while you watched Finn with them," she whispered, the tears starting to fall.

He scooted closer and took her hands in his. "Never. _Never._ I needed someone then, that's true, but I didn't pick you out of a lack of options, I picked you because you're _you._ You get me. You accept me. You didn't force the issue, you never pushed me with my dad, you just let me deal and were there if I needed you. And I do. I still do," he whispered.

She gave a little sob as he brought one hand up to cup her cheek, wiping the tears away with his thumb. "I miss you," she cried.

He pulled her gently to him. "I've missed you too," he whispered. "So much. And I'm sorry if I ever hurt you or made you feel second best, because I swear to you, Rachel Berry, you have never been anything but front and center with me. And I promise you that you never will be."


	9. Chapter 9

Puck stayed with Rachel a long time that night, just holding her. They didn't talk much more, both emotionally exhausted after the weeks of conflict. It was late when her dads got home and to say they were surprised to see him holding her on the couch was an understatement. One of her fathers glared at him while the other merely said it was late and they should probably all get to bed.

He watched Rachel get up from the couch, yawning and stretching. He followed her to the door, suddenly unsure of himself. Was he forgiven? Were they friends again? More? She had confessed to having deeper feelings, but did she still? What did that entail?

He was so busy with his internal conflict that he didn't realize she had opened the door for him or that she was watching him with an amused smile on her face. "Noah?"

He shook himself out of it. "Sorry, what?"

She chuckled. "Nothing. It's late. Drive safe, ok?"

He nodded, still unsure. "Ok. Sleep good, Rach."

She gave him a little smile. "You too."

He was halfway down the driveway when he turned back towards the house. She was still standing in the doorway, watching him leave. "Rach?"

"Yeah?

"Do you…do you wanna have lunch tomorrow?"

"Sure."

He grinned. "Ok. I'll give you a call in the morning and we can figure it out."

"Ok. Goodnight, Noah."

"Goodnight Rachel."

He felt more at ease on the drive home that night and he slept better than he had in weeks. He felt for the first time that maybe things would turn out ok.

Rachel was surprised that her dads sent her to bed with very minimal questioning after Noah left. She thought for sure she'd get the third degree, especially after she had made her dads run interference with Noah right after the baby reveal.

She slept soundly and woke feeling refreshed Saturday morning. She soon realized that her dads weren't going to let her off the hook that easily.

"Good morning," she said, sitting down at the kitchen table with her fathers. Dad was reading the paper, the Business section probably, and Daddy had the Lifestyles section in one hand and a glass of juice in the other.

"Good morning, sweetie," Daddy said.

"Morning, Rachel," Dad said.

They were quiet while she sliced her grapefruit and poured her juice. She was just about to take a bite when Dad spoke up again.

"I do believe that's the first time we've seen Noah in months," he mused. "I was under the impression that you two had some sort of falling out."

"We did," Rachel said, "but I think we're working through it."

"You think?" Daddy echoed. "Do I need to get my shot gun?"

Rachel giggled. "Daddy, you don't have a shot gun."

"Yes, well, it seems like now may be a wise time to invest in one," he grumbled.

Rachel glanced fondly at her fathers. "We did have some issues, but he's trying, he really is," she told them. "Actually, he never really stopped trying, I just kind of stopped listening."

"Well, if you're ok with this, sweetie, I guess we are too," Dad said. "I just don't want to see you get hurt."

"Or distracted from your dreams over some boy," Daddy echoed.

"I think that dreams can change," Rachel told them slowly. "People can make them change. Besides, who says I have to be alone to accomplish my dreams? Being a Broadway star is not contingent on my being alone and friendless and unhappy, correct?"

"Of course not, darling," Daddy said.

"I miss him," she confessed. "He's my best friend and maybe more than that. I don't know when it happened or how it happened, but I need him. I don't want to be alone anymore. I don't want to keep sacrificing everything just to have a dream. That's not what I want."

"Oh sweetheart, you're not alone," Dad said.

"But I was," she said. "I sacrificed a life and relationships because I was so driven, so determined to succeed and get out of this town and be someone. But Noah…he makes me feel like I already am someone. Like I matter. I've tried so hard these last few weeks to get my drive back and tell myself that it doesn't matter, that I've gotten distracted and just need to get back on track. But I can't seem to figure out how anymore."

"You said it yourself, sweetie: Success isn't dependent on being alone. You can have both. It may take more work, but if you're willing to do it, then you can. You're a Berry, darling. You can do anything."

Rachel beamed at them. "Thanks, Dad, Daddy."

Her Daddy winked at her. "My offer on that shot gun still stands."

She giggled. "I'll keep that in mind."

Puck was surprised to see his mother in the living room when he got up Saturday morning. She usually worked the late shift and slept in Saturdays, unless she had a double and had to go back in to work.

He put his arm around her, leaning down to kiss her cheek. "Morning, Mom."

"Good morning, Noah." She watched as he fixed himself a cup of coffee. "Your sister says you were out late last night."

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I was at Rachel's, I did get in pretty late."

His mom raised her eyebrow. "She still ignoring you?"

Puck grinned. "Nope. She actually called me yesterday and asked me to come over so we could talk."

His mom smiled as well. "I'm glad, Noah. So you guys are ok now?"

"I don't know that we're ok, but we talked and I get it now. I hurt her, Mom. A lot. And not just because of the lying. I put so many doubts in her mind about me and us and I made her feel unimportant and I never meant to do that."

"I know you didn't," she told her son. "Did you tell her that?"

"Yeah, we talked about it. I didn't realize she felt like that. I mean, I know she's insecure about herself and some things, I just never realized I was making it worse, but I really did." He shook his head. "But I'm gonna make up for it, I swear I am."

"I hope you do," his mom said. "I like Rachel, we all do. I think she's good for you."

"She is," he grinned. "Do you know I saved all my pool money this summer? Didn't buy a single video game."

"What are you going to do with it?"

He shrugged, suddenly self conscious. "I don't know. I was thinking maybe…college?"

"And would this be a music college? Somewhere out of state, perhaps?" she teased.

"Yeah," he admitted quietly. "It might be."

She got up from the table and embraced her son. "I'm proud of you, Noah. So proud."

He groaned. "You're proud of me? I got a girl pregnant in high school, Mom. I screwed things up with Rachel pretty bad for a while. And I'm sure Dad's told you things."

She sat back down at the table and he sat down with her. "I'm not saying you've made all the best choices, Noah, and I'm not saying I've been happy with all of them. You've made mistakes. But you're owning up to them and handling them, and I am proud of you for that. You've made sure Quinn is taken care of, one way or another, and you're both doing what you think is best for your baby. You're trying to fix things with Rachel. You've really grown up this last year."

"And Dad?" he asked quietly. "Do you think I'm doing the right thing there?"

"Your father is disappointed that you haven't initiated any contact since you and Rachel had lunch with him," his mother said. "That's your choice, Noah. No one can decide that for you. If you feel that's what you need to do, then do it. He has never really been a father to you, and if you feel you don't need him to be now, then that's your call."

"I just don't see the point," Puck murmured.

"It's your decision, honey," she said. "Besides, if he's serious about having a relationship with you, he'll be there if you ever change your mind. You need to do what's right for you."

"Even if that means going to school out of state and leaving you guys here by yourselves?"

His mom looked at him with tears in her eyes. "You have always taken care of your sister and me, Noah. For as long as I can remember. You have to take care of yourself now, make yourself happy. Your sister and I will be fine, as long as we know that you are too."

He hugged his mom tight, not even caring that his eyes were probably watering as much as hers were.

He headed to Rachel's to pick her up for lunch in the late afternoon and he was surprised to find that he was nervous, which was a completely different feeling than he was used to feeling around her. He just wasn't sure how he was supposed to act now, whether they were friends or the something more she had alluded to the night before. Was he allowed to hold her hand? Kiss her again? Did she even want him to? He mentally cursed Quinn. She had finally turned him into as big a wuss as Finn.

He also couldn't help thinking maybe his friends had actually helped him out. Finn had been pretty adamant that he keep trying with Rachel and Quinn had as well. And every time he turned around it seemed like the two girls had been talking at school or Glee or wherever. He felt like he definitely owed his friends, though he wasn't quite sure.

Rachel's Daddy answered the door when he knocked and showed him into the living room. He went to get Rachel and Puck could have sworn he heard him muttering something about shot guns.

Rachel came in a few minutes later. "Hi."

"Hey."

They stood awkwardly for a few seconds before she laughed. "Ok, this is ridiculous. We're friends. Have been for awhile. Why is this so weird?"

He shrugged. "I just…I'm not sure how to be now. Where we are."

She considered that. "We're friends, Noah. And maybe…maybe more than that, but let's just start with friends again, ok?"

He nodded. "I can do that."

She elbowed him in the side. "That doesn't really sound so convincing when you're acting so uptight."

He snorted. "Coming from the former queen of uptight? I'll take that as a compliment."

"Yes, Noah," she drawled sarcastically. "That's exactly what it was."

He chuckled and looped an arm around her shoulders. "Come on, Your Highness, let's grab some lunch, I'm starving."

"Me too," she said. "And since you're paying, I think I'm feeling extra hungry."

The rest of the day passed rather quickly for Puck. After lunch he and Rachel had just drove around town, enjoying each other's company and the fading summer weather.

She was flipping through the CDs in his truck when he asked her about Quinn. "So you and Q BFFs now?"

She glanced up at him. "Quinn? No. I mean, we're friends now, I think. Well, we don't hate each other. Yeah, you should probably just ask her," she said, nose scrunching up in confusion. "My limited social interactions over the years have left me without a clear definition of what we are."

He grinned at her from behind the wheel. "Sounds like me and Finn."

"I'm glad you guys are doing better," Rachel said.

"He's a good friend," Puck said. "I don't know if I would have been the same way to him."

"What do you mean?"

"I slept with his girlfriend, Rach. All the pregnancy stuff and lies aside, I still slept with her. He's a virgin and so was she and now she's not. That's not something that I can take back, even if I want to."

"Then what's the point of dwelling on it?" she pointed out. "Finn has obviously chosen not to, so why should you?"

"Because it still makes me feel…I don't know."

"It makes you feel what, Noah," she said quietly.

"Embarrassed? Sleazy? I don't know. Like a horrible friend, at the very least. Or maybe not a friend at all. I didn't even stop to consider him that night, not really. She was upset, a little tipsy and I knew she was mad at him and looking for revenge, but I didn't care one way or the other. She was just another girl, you know? One more for the books."

"One more for the books? Really?" She sounded disgusted.

"Yeah. I know. I'm not proud of that either. But that's the way it was. The way I was."

"You're talking like you're a different person now," she stated.

He glanced at her. "I think I am. Everyone keeps saying I am, keeps saying I've made all these profound changes. I don't know about that. But I know I don't miss it. All the nameless girls, random sex, fighting, not caring about anything. I don't miss it at all. Quinn was right, that guy _was_ a Lima Loser. He had nothing going for him, nothing to look forward to. I don't wanna be that guy anymore."

"You're not," she said, and when he turned to look at her there were tears in her eyes. "You're not that guy anymore, Noah. You just had to believe that yourself. You deserve so much more than what you've settled for in life and you're going to have to fight to get it."

"I want to," he said. "I want to more than anything."

She smiled at him. "Small steps. You'll get there, just…small steps."


	10. Chapter 10

Rachel was at her locker Monday morning struggling to fit all her books on the shelf in her locker when she saw the slushie cup out of the corner of her eye. She glanced up, trying not to cringe, and smiled instead. "Noah."

He gave her his trademark grin. "Morning. Grape," he said, handing the cup to her."

"My favorite," she smiled.

He smiled back. "I know."

"Hey, you guys!"

Both turned to see a beaming Quinn walking toward them. Puck rolled his eyes as Rachel smiled. "Good morning, Quinn."

"So…looks like you guys are finally talking again."

Puck shared a glance with Rachel. Talking…if talking meant spending the entire afternoon together Saturday and rehearsing their duet and then hanging out and watching movies with his sister all day Sunday then, yes, they were talking.

"We've worked some things out," Rachel told her. He watched as the two girls shared a look and some kind of nonverbal communication. That so did not bode well for him in the future.

"All kidding aside, I'm glad, you guys," Quinn said. "You were both pretty miserable and you were making everyone else nuts."

"Says the crazy hormonal pregnant lady," Puck mumbled. He was quickly rewarded with twin slaps to either side of his head from the girls. They looked more stunned than he was.

Rachel laughed before closing her locker. "I've gotta get to class. See you guys in Glee."

"Or at lunch," Quinn called after her, laughing when Rachel just waved back. She turned to Puck. "So seriously…things are ok?"

He walked down the hall with her. "Yeah, I think so. We're better than we were. Just taking things slow. Friends."

"That's good though," she said. "At least it's more than you had."

"I have no intention of giving up, though," he said. "I know what I want and when we're ready, we'll go for it."

"I'm happy for you, Puck. I really am. You guys make each other better, and everyone can see it."

He stopped outside her classroom. "I'm sorry, Quinn," he said quietly.

Her brow furrowed. "For what?"

He gestured between them, then to her protruding stomach. "For this. For everything. If I could take it back…"

She gazed at him fondly. "Puck…I know. Seriously. I know. And I'm sorry too. You were his best friend and I knew that. I knew what it would do. It was a two person deal. We both made mistakes, we both paid for them. I say we move on and get past it. We're both different people now and we're both getting second chances. We should take them and just be grateful."

He smiled. "You're right. We definitely should."

Puck didn't think he had ever been so happy to get to Glee Club after school. He hadn't seen Rachel since that morning, choosing instead to spend his lunch period in the guidance office with Miss Pillsbury. He was pretty sure the quirky guidance counselor had been more than a little surprised to see him, especially when he started asking questions about college. She had given him some good information, though, and he was actually finding himself excited at the prospect. It was going to take a lot of hard work, especially since he'd spent so much of high school slacking off, but he thought he might be able to pull his grades up. He even told her he probably wouldn't be getting anymore headaches during math class, which she told him was probably a good idea.

When he walked into the choir room Rachel was already there, sitting off to the side, flipping idly through sheet music. He smirked a little as he sat down beside her. She looked up at him and smiled before going back to her music. He studied her while she read. God, she really was gorgeous. The shining hair, the sparkling eyes…yep, he was pretty sure he had it bad.

The other kids filed in and he heard them talking together. He had been sitting by Rachel since school had started back up, but she looked considerably more relaxed about it today than she had in the past. He could hear them quietly (as quietly as Kurt could manage) debating whether the pair had made up or not. He decided to put them out of their misery.

He slid his arm around the back of Rachel's chair, pulling her whole desk closer to him. She gave him a mock glare and swatted him with her sheet music before giving him one of her famous smiles. "Did you need something, Noah?"

He grinned as well. "Nope. Not a thing, babe."

She rolled her eyes but put her sheet music to the side. "You are such an attention whore."

"Better than being any other kind of whore, huh?" he said, winking at her.

"I suppose that's debatable," she shot back.

He felt his mouth drop open at her boldness. He was about to say something else when he saw Quinn walk in. With Finn. Holding his hand. Looks like he and Rachel weren't the only ones that made up. He made eye with Finn and the taller boy gently tugged Quinn over to them, the blonde squeezing into the seat next to Rachel.

"Hey, man," Finn said.

"Hey."

The girls, and everyone else in Glee, waited for something else to be said. Nothing was.

"Ok," Mercedes said from the back row. "This is crazy. No more tension, no more awkwardness. I don't know that any of us can stand it. This is a new school year and it is going to be drama free and I swear if you guys screw this up I am going to go Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde on all your asses."

They all looked at her, stunned.

"Now, Puck, is there anything you wanna say to Finn?"

Puck hesitated, glancing around.

"Out with it, Puckerman," Tina shouted from the back.

"Ah, ok. Uh, Finn-"

"Louder, we can't hear you back here!" Kurt chirped.

Puck cleared his throat, sending the Prada-loving boy a deadly look. "Finn, I'm sorry."

The two boys exchanged a look that contained much more than Puck's verbal apology had.

Mercedes put her hands on her hips. "That's good. Now Finn, do you have something you wanna say to Puck?"

Finn looked him dead in the eye and Puck could feel himself starting to sweat. "I forgive you," Finn said simply. "I forgive _both_ of you."

The group in the back cheered. Mike and Matt looked relieved to not have to deal with then tension between the two, Brittany squealed and clapped her hands and Santana just looked bored.

"There now, I don't see why that was so hard," Mercedes said, sitting back down.

Clapping from the other side of the room drew the students' attention. Mr. Shuester was standing in the doorway, big smile on his face. "Alright, guys, way to handle your problems head on. Hopefully this year will go smoothly and we can focus on the singing because you guys _got this_."

"We hope so, Mr. Shue," Artie said.

"Yeah, we're ready to rock it this year," Matt chimed in.

Shue grinned. "I was hoping you'd all say that. Ok, let's start with Rachel and Puck's duet, I hope you guys have been working on it."

"Actually, Mr. Shue, we have," Rachel said.

Their teacher nodded. "I was sure you had. Come on down, guys, and show us what you've got."

Rachel and Puck took their places in front of the group as Brad started playing the piano and Shue cued the rest of their music.

The music started and the group waited hopefully as Rachel's voice followed.

**Rachel**

You could have a change of heart,

If you would only change your mind

Instead of slamming down the phone babe,

For the hundredth time

I got your number on my wall,

But I ain't gonna make that call

When divided we stand baby, united we fall

**Puck**

Got the time, got a chance, gonna make it

Got my hands on your heart, gonna take it

All I know

I can't fight this flame

**Group**

You could have a change of heart,

If you would only change your mind

**Rachel**

Cause I'm crazy bout you baby,

Time after time

**Group**

Without you

**Puck**

One night alone

**Rachel**

Is like a year without you baby

Do you have a heart of stone

**Group**

Without you

**Puck**

I can't stop the hurt inside

When love and hate collide

**Rachel**

I don't wanna fight no more,

I don't know what we're fighting for

When we treat each other baby,

Like an act of war

And I could tell a million lies

And it would come as no surprise

When the truth is like a stranger,

It hits you right between the eyes

**Group**

There's a time and a place and a reason

And I know I got a love to believe in

**Puck**

All I know, got to win this time

**Group**

Without you

**Puck**

One night alone

**Rachel**

Is like a year without you baby

Do you have a heart of stone

**Group**

Without you

**Puck**

I cant stop the hurt inside

When love and hate collide

(musical break)

**Puck**

You could have a change of heart,

If you would only change your mind

**Rachel**

Cause I'm crazy bout you baby

Crazy

Crazy

**Group**

Without you

**Puck**

One night alone

**Rachel**

Is like a year without you baby

Do you have a heart of stone

**Group**

Without you

**Puck**

One night alone

**Rachel**

Is like a year without you baby

If you have a heart at all

**Group**

Without you

**Puck**

I can't stop the hurt inside

**Rachel**

When love and hate collide

The music faded out and Rachel and Puck stood together, staring into each other's eyes as the kids applauded.

The intensity in their gaze, the heat they were generating, it was everything Shue had hoped it could be and he was so proud of his kids for working at it and getting it right. Rachel's voice had held all the emotion she was feeling and Puck's face had shown all the vulnerability and love that the song portrayed.

Shue clapped with the rest of the kids. "Amazing, guys! You nailed it! Exactly what I wanted, great job!"

Rachel blushed and Puck sent her a wink. "We're good with the passion, Mr. Shue. I don't think Rachel hates the song anymore."

Rachel smacked him in the arm as they sat back down. "No, I don't hate the song."

"Hey, hey, watch the guns, Berry."

She rolled her eyes. "Your guns are fine, Noah."

He grinned salaciously at her. "Hell yeah they are."

Everyone laughed and Shue went back to conducting practice, brainstorming choreography for their group routine and using Mike and Santana to demonstrate it.

Later, when Puck walked her out to her car, she asked him where he had been at lunch. "I thought you'd be sitting with us today," she said, and if he wasn't mistaken she had a small pout as well.

He chuckled. "I'll be there tomorrow, Berry. I went to see Miss Pillsbury today."

She raised her eyebrows playfully. "Noah Puckerman, in need of some guidance?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, I had some questions about college and stuff, so…I figured that was her job and she's always bugging us about coming to see her so I figured I would."

"You're thinking about college?" Rachel asked quietly.

"Yeah. Out of state ones, music ones, maybe. I'm trying to bring my grades up and look into scholarships and stuff, but I don't know if it will be enough Probably not for New York."

"You want to go to school in New York?" she asked, her eyes round.

He shrugged uncomfortably. "I do if you do. I wanna be where you are, Rach."

She gave him her biggest smile. "Oh, Noah."

He cleared his throat. "Look, I know we said we're going to be friends for right now, but I just want you to know that when you're ready for more, I'm in."

"Really?" she asked, eyes shining. "You want more?"

"Are you kidding? Of course I do. You're amazing, Rachel. I wanna be wherever you are and I wanna be with you."

"I wanna be with you too," she said softly.

"I just…you need to know that I'm not good at this," he said, gesturing between them. "I'm not good at the whole relationship thing and I've never really had one so…I don't want to hurt you again, Rachel."

"I understand," she said. She clasped his hand in hers. "But you're trying, Noah. We both are. And that's all that matters."

And it really was.

**Author's Note**: Thank you guys so much for your support and encouragement during this fic! This was my first Glee fic and it really wasn't supposed to be more than just a quick little one shot since I'm so new to the fandom, but you writers know how it goes when something kind of takes on a life of its own. Thanks for all your reviews, it lets all of us writers know that someone is actually reading this stuff and we're not way out in left field with everything. I'm definitely going to be writing some more Puckelberry because I have loved them since Sweet Caroline, so stay tuned! Also, the song here is Def Leppard's "When Love and Hate Collide" and I would like to thank Def Leppard and Taylor Swift for making it a Crossroads duet and letting me copy the format, lol.


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